DIYAM CHAPTER 11
Inna ta saka na zagaya na gaishe da mutanen gidan, kuma kowa naje sai ta yi comment akan girman da nayi, ni kuma sam banga wani girma da nayi ba na dai san cewa kirjina ya kara cika amma bayan shi ban kara komai ba. Ina dawowa dakin inna na tarar an aiko min da abinci kala kala daga gurin Hajiya Babba, inna tace “da yake surukar ta tazo shine ta aiko mata da abinci, amma mu yaushe rabon da muga kwano daga dakinta” ni dai bance komai ba na fara bubbuda flasks din zaben abinda zanci, na samu wani farfesun kaji na ja gefe na fara ci. Ina cikin ci Hajiya Yalwati ta shigo, ta kalli lodin abincin tace “hmmm. Ana cewa babu kudi bayan kudin suna can a inda aka ajiye su” Inna tayi dariya tace “ke kam ba kya rabo da bakar magana”.+ A dakin Inna na wuni, sai da yamma ta tura ni inje in gaida Alhaji, kuma in shiga gidan Kawu Isa suma in gaishe su. Sai a lokacin na fahimci cewa ashe Alhaji Babba bashi da lafiya yana kwance. Ina dawowa sai ga sako dafa Hajiya Babba wai inje an gyara min daki a gurinta inje in sauka a can. Naki zuwa nace ace mata na gode amma a gurin Inna zan zauna, sai nayi sa’a kuma innar bata matsamin in tafi din ba. Da daddare Inna take gaya min cewa gobe ne zata fita daga takaba, ashe shine dalilin da yasa aka dauko ni. Sai na tambayeta “Mama zata zo goben?” Inna tace “inajin zata zo, wani abun ne?” Nace “dama wata tambaya nake so inyi mata” ta zauna a kusa dani tace “tambayar me fa?” Sai na fara jujjuya hannuna ina feeling uncomfortable, ni ban saba irin wannan maganar da Inna ba dama Ummah ce da sauki. Sai data sake tambayata sannan nace “so na ke inji, wai dama in mutum yayi aure sai ya daina period? Dama matan aure basayi?” Sai ta tashi ta bude wardrobe kamar mai dauko wani abu, ta jingina kanta da kofar tace “yaushe rabon da kiyi?” Nace “tun kafin…..tun kafin biki” tace “wata uku kenan ko?” Na ce “eh” tace “matan aure sunayi Diyam, sai dai in matar aure tana da ciki ne bata yi” naji kaina ya kulle nace “ciki?” Sai kawai ta juyo tana kallo na, na dan yi shiru ina tunanin kalmar ciki sai kuma lokaci daya naji tamkar an ciro zuciyata an buga ta da kasa ta tarwatse. Nayi saurin rike kirjina na zamo daga kan gadon na fado kasa, a hankali na fara kiran innalillahi wa inna ilaihir rajiun, Inna ta taho da sauri ta rike ni tana kokarin daga ni amma na dunkule a guri daya danji nake yi tamkar idan na mike zuciyata zata fado daga kirjina. Amma hawaye yaki zuwa idona, kalmar ciki ce kawai take yawo a kaina, wai ciki nake dashi ni Diyam kuma cikin ma wai na Saghir wannan wacce irin jarabawa ce, wannan wacce irin rayuwa ce. Har yanzu banyi accepting Saghir a matsayin miji na ba ballantana kuma in karbe shi a matsayin uban yayana. Inna ta rike ni tana cewa “haba Diyam, menene hakan kuma daga maganar ciki? Ciki yar kyautar Allah ne in aka same shi murna ya kamata ayi a kuma godewa Allah” sai na kifa kaina a jikinta ina jan numfashi da kyar. Na rufe ido na ina tunano fuskar Sadauki. Wannan cikin tamkar yayi sealing aurena da Saghir ne, tamkar ya tabbatar da rabuwa ta da Sadauki kenan. Ranar yadda naga rana haka naga dare. Ina jin ko lokacin da aka daura min aure da Saghir ban shiga irin wannan tashin hankalin ba. Sai bayan nayi salllah asuba sannan nayi bacci dan haka har mutane suka fara zuwa yiwa Inna gaisuwa da kuma taya ta murnar fita daga takaba ban tashi ba, dagabaya ma dana farka sai na yi kwanciya ta har saida naji muryar Mama sannan na tashi na gaisheta. Ta bini da kallo kamar mai accessing dina, wannan yasa na koma na kwanta na lulluba dan ji nake yi kamar duk wanda ya ganni yana iya hango cikin jikina. Ina kwance Mama ta shigo tace “Diyam taso ki raka ni unguwa” da sauri na mike ina straightening hijab dina dan ba karamin gajiya nayi da gidan da duk mutanen da ke cikinsa ba. Muna shiga muka shiga motar da tazo da ita, Mukhtar yana ja muka tafi sai na gan mu munzo wani asibiti, naji gabana ya fadi ina tuna ranar da aka kaini asibiti naga gawar Baffa, ranar da rayuwata ta tarwatse. Na tambayeta “Mama waye bashi da lafiya?” Tace “ba kowa, ke na kawo kiga likita” sai na sunkuyar da kaina a raina ina cewa Inna ta gaya mata kenan. Da yake asibitin kudi ne dan haka muna zuwa aka dauki jini na for a confirmation test, mu ka zauna jira sai kuma aka kira mu dakin likita, muka shiga suka gaisa da Mama sannan nima na gaishe shi ya dauko result din yana kallona yace “Halima Usman Kollere?” Na gyada masa kai, yace “how old are you?” Nace “14” sai naji kalmar 14 din tana burning a kirjina. Ya girgiza kai yana kallon Mama yace “how comes? Yarki ce?” Ta gyada kai tace “yar yaya tace, mahaifinta ya rasu shine yan uwansa suka aurar da ita ga dansu” ya girgiza kai yana kallona sannan yace “well, she is pregnant. Zamuyi scanning dai muga wata nawa ne sannan muga in ya shiga yadda ya kamata, za kuma mu duba lafiyar mahaifarta in zata iya daukar nauyin cikin” nayi sauri dago kai ina kallon doctor din, da rawar murya nace “doctor please ka cire cikin nan bana so” Mama tace “kul Diyam, kar in sake jin kince ba kyason abinda yake cikin ki. Allah ne fa ya baki ajjiya, ba naki bane ba na Allah ne kuma shi kadai zai karbi kayansa a lokacin da yake ganin ya dace”. STORY CONTINUES BELOW Muka je na kwanta akan gado Mama tana rike da hannuna da yake rawa saboda tsoro. Doctor ya zuba min wani abu mai sanyi a mara ta sannan ya fara goga wata roba akai yana kallon screen din gabansa, can sai naji yace “wow wow.” Ya juyo yana kallon Mama yace “we are having twins here”.1 Bayan an gama scanning din mun koma mun zauna yace “gaskiyar magana yarinyar nan tayi kankanta, bayan rashin shekaru gashi kuma tana da kankantar jiki, she can carry the pregnancy but I strongly suggest that kar a barta tayi labor, musamman tunda she is carrying multiple a shawarce da ta kai around 36 weeks ku kawo ta a cire babies din saboda lafiyar ta” Mama ta gyada kai da sauri tace “insha Allah doctor hakan za’ayi” ya tura mu mukayi sauran tests sannan ya rubuta mana drugs ya sallame mu.3 Hankalina idan yayi dubu to duk ya tashi, dan tunda doctor yace twins ne bankara magana ba dan in nayi ma inajin muryar ba zata fita ba. Wato ba daya ba, ƴaƴan Saghir guda biyu ne a cikina. Har muka zo gida bance komai ba ina dai jin Mama tana tayi min bayanai da yadda zan kula da kaina da abincin da ya dace in ke ci, ni dai na jingina jsina da kofar mota kawai na rufe idona.1 Muna packing su Salma suna fitowa ita da Aysha zasu tafi gidajen su, bana son magana dan haka ko kallon su banyi ba nazo zan wuce ta kusa dasu Salma tace “oh su Diyam manya, kamar ba itace nan take ta koke koke ba wai bata son auren hamma amma gata nan harda ciki. Ni ko zanso inga yadda akayi cikin nan”. Sai suka kyalkyale da dariya. Har na taka step zan shiga palo sai na tsaya ina juya kai, it is hardly a gaya min magana inyi shiru and this is not going to be the first time. Na juya na sha gabanta nace “yes bana son yayanki kuma har duniya ta nade ba zan so shi ba ko da kuwa zan haifa masa duk mutanen da suke duniyar nan. Ni ma kuma zanso ace kinga yadda akayi wannan cikin dan a lokacin ne zaki tabbatar cewa yayanku is nothing but a monster, a big for nothing monster”. Mama tazo da sauri ta jani muka wuce, amma naji dadi a raina.1 Mu da muka zo da niyyar kwana biyu sai da mukayi sati. A cikin satin na fahimci abubuwa da yawa, na farko shine arzikin Alhaji Babba ya ragu sosai, dan naji ana cewa yanzu shagunan sa na kantin kwari ne kadai suke functioning. Abu na biyu Inna tana cikin damuwa game da negligence da take fuskanta a gidan, babu wanda yake daukan abinsa ya bata dan zumunci sai dai idan ta roka, hatta sabulun wanka da wanki sai ta roka za’a bata.2 Da safiyar ranar da zamu tafi Inna ta dauko wasu kudi ta bude hannu na ta saka min, nace “kudin menene wannan?” Tace “kudin sadakin kine” na kalli kudin ina jujjuya sannan nace “me zanyi dasu?” Sai tayi murmushi tace “ki sayi wani abu dasu, duk abinda kike so” a hankali nace “ni babu abinda nake so Inna, ni yanzu babu abinda nake tunanin zai saka ni farin ciki, Sadauki shine farin ciki na kuma a yanzu bana jin zan kuma ganinsa har abada” sai na bude hannunta na saka mata kudin nace “ki karbi wannan kudin inna dan Allah ki dauki Asma’u ku bar gidan nan. Ki koms gida ki samo masu rabon gado su fitar wa da Ummah gadonta a gidan mu ki danka a hannun yaya ladi ko Sadauki. Misali in aka fitar masu da dakunan Ummah sai su fitar da kofa daban. Dakunan ki kuma zaki iya saka yan haya a ciki ke kuma sai ki zauna a dakunan Baffa. Kinga kudin hayar zaki iya wani abu dashi sannan kuma zaki samu security yafi ki zauna ke kadai. Kudin nan kuma dubu hamsin sai ki kama sana’a dasu, idan ba zasu isa ba sai ki siyar da kayan dakin ki ko na dakin Baffa ki kara. A yanzu abinda zai sani farin ciki inna shine in ganku a farin ciki” sai naga hawaye yana fita daga idonta, tayi sauri ta goge tace “Diyam. Ni a tunani na abinda nayi miki shine dai dai, amma na rasa me yasa na kasa jin farin ciki a zuciya ta” sai ta dawo min da kudin hannuna tace “bazan karbi sadakin ki ba Diyam. Ki ajiye su, wata rana zasu yi miki amfani” nace “to Inna zaki tafi din?” Nan ma sai ta girgiza kai tace “ba zaki gane ba Diyam”.1 Sai nayi shiru ina kallonta, sai nayi realizing wani abu, ba wai gidan Alhaji Babba ne bata son bari ba but she is not strong enough to stand on her own, tana bukatar shoulder da zata jingina da ita. Na tuna cewa a kauye aka haife ta a can kuma ta girma ba tare da tayi karatun boko ba, sannan aka aura mata Baffa ya raho da ita kano ya ajiye ta a gida. Tunda na taso ban taba ganin inna da kawa ba, babu wanda ta sani sai Mama da Aunty Hafsa sune kawayenta, in dai Inna ta fita unguwa to in ba gidan su ba to gidan Alhaji Babba ko kawu Isa, gaba daya rayuwarta tayi revolving ne around them. Wannan ne ya kara banbanta ta da Ummah tunda ita Ummah tayi karatu a hannun Alhaji Bukar dan haka ta waye sosai tayi kawaye. Wannan yasa yanzu it will be hard for Inna ta tsaya da kafafuwanta, ko kuma tayi challenging Alhaji Babba. Maybe nan gaba. A ranar da muka koma gida ni da uwani sai naji gidan yayi min wani iri, kuma nasan hakan yana da dangantaka da sanin da nayi cewa ina da ciki, twins, cikin Saghir. Da dare sai na bude balcony din da yake hade da palon sama. Na tsaya na lunshe idona ina jin dadin iskar da take kadawa, na bude idona naga sky ta cika da stars ga wata ya zama full. A hankali nace “Sadauki where are you?” Sai na tuno abinda ya taba fadamin “You Are The Only Star In My Sky” na shafa marata ina tunanin babies din da suke ciki amma sam banji wata soyayya tasu a raina ba. I can give anything to have them taken away from me. Da Sadauki na shirya haihuwa, dashi na shirya rayuwar aure. Da Sadauki nayi wannan plan din, dashi na shirya zanyi rayuwar aure har in samu ciki har in haifa mana ya’ya. Mace mukayi fatan zamu samu daga farko sai mu saka mata subay’a sunan yar tsana ta, daga nan sai mu haifi namiji mu saka masa sunan Baffa mu kira shi da Junior………. Ya Allah take my life please, ya Allah end my suffering please. Sai na rike railers din gurin na durkusa ina kuka a hankali. The first tears da nayi shading tun first night dina a gidan. Sai da nayi kuka na mai isa ta sannan na tashi daga gurin na dawo palo, sai naji zuciyata tayi min dadi dan at least na dan samu relief na zafin da take yi min. Na zauna a kujera ina karewa kayan gurin kallo, kayan da aka ce an siya min with my father’s life time earnings. Sai na tuno da yadda kullum Baffa da Sadauki suke fita tun safe suna aiki a gareji basa dawowa sai magrib basu da weekend basu da public holidays kullum cikin aiki suke. Na hango yadda Sadauki yake dawowa a gajiye kayansa duk bakin mai ya bata su inyi tayi masa dariya. Na tuna sanda yake bani labarin filinsa “anan zan gina mana gidan mu ni dake Diyam”. Na lunshe idona a hankali nace “Allah ya isa”.+ Washegari su Rumaisa suka zo, a lokacin ne suke gaya min cewa anyi hutun first term, sai na samu kaina da tambayar kaina ‘ko yaushe za’a saka ni a makarantar da akayi min alkawari? Nasan in nayi magana ma yanzu cewa za’ayi ga ciki kuma wacce makaranta zan shiga sai dai in bari sai na haihu. Haka rayuwa ta cigaba da tafiyar min cikin kunci da bacin rai, ga kuma laulayi daya sauko min a lokaci daya, bani da damar inci abinci sai na amayar dashi. Baba son kamshi kwata kwata kona turare ko na sabulu, ga kadaici. Inda Allah ya taimake ni ina tare da uwani wadda take taimaka min sosai dan kusan duk aiyukan gidan ita take yi, sannan tayi min girkin duk abinda nace inaso, wani lokacin kuma ina gama ci zan shiga toilet in amayar dashi gaba daya sannan in dawo ince mata wani nakeso daban. Uwani tana daga cikin mutanen da bazan taba manta alkairin su ba. Ciki na yana wata biyar, amma in ka ganshi zaka dauka yayi bakwai saboda girma. Lokacin kuma laulayi na yayi sauki sosai. Sannan kuma a lokacin ne muka sake komawa scanning ga mamaki na muna hanya sai ga wayar Alhaji Babba yana cewa da Mama wai a duba masa sex din babies din. Ina jin Mama tana mita “shi Alhaji Babba wai har yanzu ba zai dauki ishara akan wannan son yaya mazan nasa ba? Shin Saghir ba zai zamar masa darasi ba?” Ni dai bance komai ba amma a zuciya ta ina ta addu’a “Allah kasa mata ne, ya Allah kasa mata ne” amma muna zuwa doctor ya duba ya kalleni yace “congratulations, you are having twin boys” na runtse idona, it is official, bani da sa’a a rayuwa ta. Sai kuma nayi sauri nayi istigfari akan sabon da nayi. Tun a asibitin Mama ta kira Alhaji Babba tayi masa albishir, ai kuwa daga nan direct gidansa yace a kawo ni ya ganni. Muna zuwa muka wuce part dinsa muka same shi zaune a palo shida Hajiya Babba muka gaishe su, yace “Diyam ba dan bani da isassun kuda de ba da kasar waje zan fita dake ki haihu a can. Amma yanzu ma ina saka ran wasu kudade, indai sun samu kafin lokacin haihuwar ki to duk kasar da kike so nan za’a kaiki ki haihu” Hajiya Babba tana ta washe baki tayi min godiya ni kuwa ko ci kanka bance masa ba. Sai ya dauko wasu kudi a envelope ya miko min yace “nasan masu ciki da kwadayi. Gashi kya ringa siyan abinda kike so” nayi godiya har zamu tashi sai kyma ya tambaye ni “kuna waya da mijinki kuwa?” Na girgiza masa kai da sauri ina mamakin tambayar, ni da bani da waya kuma banma san number din Saghir ta yaya zamuyi waya dashi? Amma sai na fahimci wani abu, suma kansu basu san inda yake ba so suke suji koni na sani. A gurguje muka shiga muka gaishe da Inna, sai na ajiye mata kudin da Alhaji Babba ya bani muka tafi. A ranar da daddare har na kwanta sai naji yunwa, kuma uwani ta riga tayi baccinta dan haka dole na tashi da uban cikina na sauko kasa. Na karanto adduoi na kunna fitilar palo sannan na shiga kitchen na dauko cornflakes na fara hadawa kawai sai jikina ya bani ana kallona. Nayi saurin juyawa na kalli bakin kofa kawai sai idona ya sauka akan Saghir, ya harde hannaye a kirji ya jingina da kofa ya zuba min ido. Cup din hannuna ya zame ya fadi kasa, na ruga a firgice zuwa back door din kitchen din na bude jikina yana karkarwa na fice daga gidan na rufe kofar ta waje, ban tsaya anan bama sai na kara mai sai dana dangane da katangar gidan sannan na tsaya na toshe bakina da hannuna ina numfashi sama sama, na jima ban tsorata ba irin ranar. Sai da hankali na ya dawo jikina sannan na fahimci a inda nake sai kuma wani sabon tsoron ya sake shigata na koma wajen building din da sauri, na leka tagar kitchen sai naga babu kowa, na zagaya ta gaban gidan na leka palo shima babu kowa sannan babu mota wannan yasa na sauke ajjiyar zuciya. Wato mutumin nan har ya fara yi min gizo kenan ko? STORY CONTINUES BELOW Duk da tsoratar da nayi saboda abu irin na mai ciki sai dana karasa hada cornflakes dina sannan na koma sama na sha a daki na wanke bakina nayi addu’a nayi kwanciya ta a raina ina cewa “aniyar Saghir ta koma kansa”. Dasafe kamar kullum bayan na gama karatu na da azkar dina na tashi uwani muka fara gyaran gida tare, muna yi muna hirarrakin mu har muka gama da sama muka dauko kasa, dama mun saba indai mukayi wannan saukowar kuma to sai dare zamu sake hawa dan anan kasa muke wuni. Tana cikin mopping ninkuma ina goge tv kawai sai mukaji motsi kamar ana saukowa daga sama, muka kasa kunne a tare sai kuwa muka tabbatar lallai saukowar ake yi dan haka muka fa eeèra rige rigen neman gurin buya sai kawai ga Saghir ya sauko. Yaci kwalliya kamar kullum, sai kamshin turare yake yi, nayi sauri na buya a bayan uwani ina jin tsanarsa tana karuwa a raina. Kallo daya yayi mana daga ni har uwanin ya cigaba da tafiyar sa zai fita daga palon, sai kuma naga ya tsaya ya juyo yana kallona, amma vani yake kallo ba cikin jikina yake kallo, na saka hannayena na rufe cikin dasu, sai ya juyo ya doso inda nake tsaye yazo daf dani ya tsaya, ya kalli cikin yace “meye wannan?” Na tattaro duk sauran rashin kunyar da take tare dani nace “oho, nima bansan menene ba” muka tsaya muna kallon kallo, ya tsare ni da ido ni kuma naki cire nawa idon daga cikin nasa. Uwani tana gefe tace “kyautar Allah ce, kyautar da babu wanda zai baka sai shi. Sai a karba kuma a gode masa” bai kyalleta ba yace min “so this is your plan ko? Wannan shine abinda kika shirya dan ki zauna a gidan nan?” Na girgiza kaina nace “believe me, a zuciyata bayan kiyayyarka babu kiyayyar abinda tafi karfi irin ta abinda yake ciki na, and one day, ranar dana haifesu a ranar zan baka kayanka and then it will be my turn to run away” ya hade rai yace “su?” Na daga gira daya nace “yes, su biyu ne” ya sake kallon cikin sai kuma ya kalleni yace “Allah ya kaimu. Ranar da zaki bani su din” ya juya kamar zai tafi sai kuma ya tsaya ya juyo yace “ohhh, and I didn’t run away kamar wani marar gaskiya, tafiya ce ta same ni” sai daya fita daga palon sannan na sauke ajjiyar zuciya saboda tunda ya tsaya kusa dani na rike numfashi na saboda tsoro da kuma kamshin turarensa da yake kokarin sakani amai. Uwani ta fara jera min wa’azi. Ba’a yiwa miji haka, namiji shi tarairayarsa akeyi da kalamai masu dadi, hakan shine zai siya miki martaba a idon shi. Nace “shi kuma fa, menene zai siya masa martaba a nawa idon?” Ta bini da kallo kawai ta rasa amsar bani. Na leka ta window ina hangoshi har ya je gate, naga yayi magana da mai gadi sai kuma ya fita daga gidan a kafa. A raina nace “ina motar?”. Bai dawo ba sai dare, ina kitchen ina wanke wanke naji shigowar sa ya haye sama ya shiga dakinsa. Sai ga uwani ta shigo kitchen din tace min “mijinki ya dawo, maza ki zuba abinci ki kai masa” na bita da kallo kamar wadda tayi saɓo. Taga bani da niyya sai ta zuba ta dora a tray tace inje in kai masa. Na dauka kamar gaske na tafi, naje kofar dakinsa na ajiye dai dai bakin kofa a raina ina addu’ar yana fitowa yayi tuntube dashi ya bata kayansa. Sai na shiga daki na na dan zauna kadan dan kar taga na koma da wuri sannan na dawo gurinta. Haka muka kasance for about a week. Ko magana ta fatar baki bata hadamu kuma kullum d sassafe ya ke fita sannan ya dawo da dare, kuma kullum sai uwani ta saka ni na kai masa abinci ni kuma sai in ajiye a bakin kof inyi tafiya ta, ranar nan naje ina ajiye abincin sai ya bude kofar, na maze nayi kamar wucewa nazo yi shi kuma ya hade rai yace “ke, zonan” na tsaya ina kallonsa yace “ubanwa kike jerawa abinci a bakin kofa kamar dakin bera? Nan an gaya miki gurin ajjiyar abinci ne?” Nayi shiru still ina kallonshi. Yayi tsaki yace “ga tsaurin ido kuwa, anayi mata magana tana tsatstsare mutane da ido. Ki dauka ki shigo dashi ciki nace” na dauka nazo na wuce ta gabansa na shiga, first time dana shiga dakinsa, naga wani table a gefe na dora tray din akai ina lura da irin dattin da dakin yayi, kaya a barbaje har kan gado, takeaway packs sun cika waste basket. Na dauke kaina zan fita ya zauna a bakin gado yace “zuba min abincin” naji raina ya fara baci, wata zuciyar tana gaya min in zuba masa abincin aka in fita da gudu. Na bude na zuba masa shinkafa a plate na dauko miya zan zuba yace “mayar, bana cin shinkafa” na daga kafada na mayar da ita na juye na dauki tray na zanyi gaba yace “menene a wancan bowl din?” Na bata rai nace kwadon zogale ne, ni nayi zanci shine uwani tace in zuba maka wai ko zaka ci” sai naga ya dauke kai yana murmushi, sai kuma ya hade rai ya miko hannu yace “bani” na ajiye tray din na dauki bowl din na mika masa. Charaf ya kama hannuna, na saki bowl din ya fadi akan carpet zogalen ya zube, na fara kokawar kwace hannuna da dukkan karfina amma ko zegau, kuma wai hannu daya fa kawai ya saka ya rike ni. Sai da na gaji da kokawa ta sannan na tsaya ina mayar da numfashi ido cike da hawaye, ya gyara zamansa yace “kin gama kokawar?” Na gyada kaina, yace “good, then listen to me. Am sorry for what I did to you ranar nan. I was drunk” nayi noticing yadda ya fadi drunk din as if it is a normal thing, ya cigaba “bama zan iya tuna details of what happened ba, nasan dai kinyi min rashin kunya kuma ke shine problem dinki baki da kunya, I remember you even threatened me with a knife. But har cikin raina ni banyi niyyar tabaki ba saboda kamar yadda na fada wa Alhaji amma yaki yarda, kinyi min kankanta. Yanzu kin yafe min?” Nayi saurin girgiza kaina, yayi ajjiyar zuciya yace “maybe later. But look on the bright side, babies, har guda biyu. Ni da bansa ran ko daya ba sai gani da guda biyu. Alhaji yace min boys ne ko?” Ban bashi amsa ba sai yayi dariya, the first time da naga yayi dariya, yace “twin boys, in kika haifi twins din nan kin gama biyawa Alhaji bukatar sa ta duniya, you will be his second favorite person bayan ni” ya saki hannuna nayi saurin ja da baya ina goggoge hannun da hijab dina. Yace “Hajiya tace min SC za’ayi miki at 36 weeks ko?” Na dauke kaina nayi hanyar waje yace “how many weeks ne yanzu cikin?” Sai dana bude kofa sannan na juyo nace “oho, ban sani ba, amma ai zaka iya lissafawa saboda kai kafi kowa sanin ranar da akayi cikin” na juya da sauri na fita ina jinsa yana cewa “still with the rashin kunya ko?”1 STORY CONTINUES BELOW Tun daga ranar ya dan fara kulani, misali in zai fita zai neme ni yace min ya fita, in ya dawo kuma uwani zata saka lallai in kai masa abinci. A lokacin ne nake lura cewa most of the times a buge yake dawowa gida, ni kuma dana ji wannan warin a tare dashi zan gudu. Duk lokacin zuwa asibiti na, Mama ce take zuwa da kanta ta dauke ni muje bata taba fashi ba, kullum kuma tana gaya min “dan lafiyar ki nake yin wannan abin Diyam ba wai dan yayan cikin ki ba, in an haife su dole zan so su saboda jikoki nane amma a yanzu lafiyar ki tafi su muhimmanci”. Alhaji Babba kuwa lokuta da dama da kansa yake zuwa har gida wai yazo ganina ya duba lafiya ta, Hajiya kuma kullum tana cikin aiko min da kayayyakin kwalama wai duk cikin nuna kulawa ne, ni kuwa nasan bani suke yiwa ba abin cikina suke yiwa. Sai na samu kaina da tunanin inba sa’a naci ba yadda suka lalata Saghir haka zasuyi wa duk abinda zan haifa, ni kuwa I can’t even begin to imagine myself as a mother of yaya masu halayyar Saghir har guda biyu. A haka har cikina ya kai 32 weeks, and that’s when it happens. Ranar wata laraba, Saghir ya dawo kamar yadda ya saba dawowa ni kuma na zuba abinci na kai masa kamar kullum. Ina shiga dakin naji wannan familiar warin dan haka na tabbatar yau ma a bugensa yake. Na ganshi a kwance daga shi sai singlet da gajeren wando yayi dai dai akan gado, na lallaba na ajiye abincin na juya zan fita kenan sai ganinsa nayi a gaba na yana kallona kasa kasa fuskarsa da murmushi, sannan cikin irin voice din da bazan manta ba yace “wai ke kullum sai ki shigo min daki kina wani lallabawa a tsorace kamar dakin dodo, ko ni dodo ne?” Ban bashi amsa ba na chanja hanya sai naji ya damko hannuna ta cikin hijab dina ya dawo dani baya, na fara kokarin ture shi nace “don’t touch me” ya maimaita cikin kwaikwayon muryata “don’t touch me, shikenan dai kullum don’t touch me sai kace wani abin tabawar ne a jikin nata, bayan bata da komai haka aka kawo ta gidan nan, kirjin ma sai dana mammatso su sannan suka fito” naji hawaye yana bin fuskata, na ture shi na bude kofa da sauri na fita palo amma kafin inyi nisa ya kuma kamo hijab dina da karfi ya finciko ni baya, naji bayana ya amsa da karfi na saki kara. Ya zare hijab din yana cewa “ke dai kiyi ta yawo da wannan dogon abin, ke ko zafi ba kya ji?” Na sakar masa hijab din na durkusa a kasa saboda bayana da naji ya kasa mikewa straight, Sai kuma idonsa ya sauka kan dogon gashina da ya zubo har saman bayana ya bude ido yace “well well well, what do we have here. I always have a thing for mata masu dogon gashi” sai ya nannade hannunsa a cikin gashina ya dago ni tsaye da gashin, naji tamkar fatar kan gabaki daya yake cirewa, ba shiri na saki bayana dana rike na kama kaina na saki kara. Ban kuma jin abinda yake cewa ba saboda azaba sai jin muryar uwani nayi tana cewa “Saghir baka da hankali? Ka sake ta mana, baka ganin halin da take ciki?” Sai kuma ya sake ni, uwani tayi saurin rike ni muka bishi da kallo ya tafi dakinsa yana harhada hanya. Uwani ta kama ni ta kaini dakina tana yi min sannu. Na durkusa a kasa inajin kaina kamar zai tsage da baya na shima ya rike. Sai naga ta dauko wayarta tana waya amma bana jin me take cewa na dai ji ta ambaci sunana da sunan Saghir. Daga nan baccin azaba ya dauke ni. Sanda na farka cikin dare ni kadai ce a dakin a kwance a kan gado, wani irin mugun ciwon baya ne ya tashe ni nakasa mikewa ma tsaye ballantana in fito in nemi taimakon wani, haka nayi ta murkususu ni kadai akan gado ina karanto duk adduoin da suka zo bakina. Ban samu bacci ba sai da aka fara kiraye kirayen sallah. Sai da gari ya fara haske sannan na lallaba na tashi nayi sallah, nayi azkar sannan na kuma kwanciya akan sallayar na sake komawa wani baccin. Lokacin dana sake farkawa sai naji ciwon kan ya lafa sosai sai bayan ne har yanzu amma shima ba kamar cikin dare ba. Na fito na duba agogo naga 20:32, nasan already Saghir ya fita dan haka na sauko kasa gurin uwani. A zaune na same ta da jakar kayanta a gabanta ga mayafinta a kusa da ita. Na tsaya ina kallon ta nace “wannan kayan kuma fa? Wanki zaki bayar?” Tace min “zauna Diyam” na zauna a kusa da ita tace “dazu da sassafe mijinki ya shigo nan, yazo ya same ni ya kare min zagi tas wai ni munafuka ce na hada shi da mahaifiyarsa. Yace min in fita in bar masa gidan sa kar ya dawo ya same ni” na mike tsaye zan fara masifa “lallai ma Saghir din nan, yanzu ke din zai yiwa wannan rashin kunyar?” Tace “ni dai abinda nasan nayi shine jiya da naga yana neman halaka ki na kira uwarsa, ni kuma abinda yasa na kira ta shine naga halin da kike ciki wai ko za’a zo a kaiki asibiti ko kuma a turo ma’aikaciyar lafiya ta duba ki, ni bansan me ta kira shi tace masa ba shine yazo yayi min wannan diban albarkar” nace “kira hajiyan to sai mu gaya mata abinda yayi, ita zata san abinda zata yi akai” tace “hmmm. Ai yana fita ita din na kirawo, tunda tun farko ai ita ce tace inzo in zauna din, amma dana gaya mata abinda yace sai cewa tayi in tafi can gidan kawai tunda yace baya son zama na anan din. Tace zata samo wata ta turo miki take kula dake” naji raina ya kara baci, hawaye yana bin fuskata nace “wannan wacce irin rayuwa ce, yanzu ace mutum babu yadda za’ayi yayi abu ba daidai ba a gyara masa sai ya zama laifi. Yanzu jiyan da ace ba kyanan Allah ne kadai yasan abinda zaiyi min. Ni ba zan zauna ba uwani, kina tafiya nima binki zanyi, bazan zan zauna ya kashe ni ba” uwani tace “a’a, ba zaki bini ba Diyam, ina tafiya dake cewa za’ayi nazo na kashe miki aure. Ni dai yanzu in naje zan gayawa mahaifiyar ki halin da kike ciki, itace take da hakkin zuwa ta tafi dake”. Ina ji ina gani uwani ta dauki jakarta ta fita, na raka ta har bakin gate ina hawaye tayi sallama da mai gadi wanda har sun saba dashi sosai, na tsaya ina kallonta har tayi nisa sannan na dawo cikin gida na rufe kofa. Na kwanta akan kujera ina tunanin wannan wacce irin kaddara ce ta hau kaina, wacce irin tarbiyya Saghir zai yiwa yayan mu bayan shi kansa ba tarbiyyar ce dashi ba? Ina nan kwance dai har yunwa ta kamani na tashi na shiga kitchen sai na tarar ashe uwani ta ajiye min dumamen tuwon jiya dan tasan ina so. Na dauko na dawo palo na zauna ina ci kawai naji ciwon bayan ya dawo and this time yafi na dare karfi. Yayi ya lafa ya sake dawowa kamar bayana zai rabu da jikina. A haka azahar ta same ni, la’asar ma tazo, sai dari ya fara duhu. A lokacin ciwon bayan ya hade har da cikina da mara ta. Na lallaba na koma sama ina tunanin wannan wanne irin ciwo ne haka tunda ni dai cikina ai bai isa haihuwa ba ballantana inyi tunanin ko nakuda ce. Bayan nayi sallar magrib ne kuma sai na kasa kofa tashi daga kan sallaya ta saboda azabar ciwo, ban taba addu’ar ganin Saghir ba sai a wannan rana na ringa addu’ar Allah yasa ya dawo da wuri ya kaini asibiti, wannan wanne irin ciwo ne haka? Ga yunwa dan tun tuwon safe ban kuma cin komai ba, ga babu waya a hannuna ballantana in kira in nemi taimako. Shiru shiru babu Saghir babu labarin sa tun ina duba agogo har na daina. Sai kuma kamar daga sama naji tsayuwar motarsa, na daddafa da kyar na mike amma ina tsayuwa sai naji kamar an bude famfo ruwa yana fita ta kasana, nace na shiga uku ni Diyam fitsari nake a tsaye ko me? Tun daga yanayin yadda yayi packing nasan cewa yau ma ba kalau yake ba, ina jin motsin shigowar sa palo sannan naji ya hawo sama, sai dai banji ya bude dakinsa ba. Na jima ina tattaro karfina sannan na fara bin bango na fita daga dakin. A palon sama na same shi, ya cire rigarsa ya jefar a gefe, ya kure ac ya kwanta a kan carpet. Da rarrafe na karasa inda yake nayi masa magana “Saghir, Saghir” shiru, na dan jijjiga shi, nan ma babu alamar motsi a tare dashi. Da daga hannunsa naji ya saki. Banbancinsa da gawa shine kawai shi yana numfashi. Na fara kuka “hamma Saghir ka taimaka min zan mutu, wayyo Sadauki” amma da wani ciwon ya sake tahowa sai na nemi kukan na rasa. Lallai wani abin yafi gaban kuka. Na tuna da maigadi a waje dan haka nayi kokarin ganin ko zan iya zuwa gurinsa ya samo min taimako, duk da cewa ba makota ne damu ba. Amma tashi ya gagare ni, kamar kafafuwana sun daina aiki. Na durkusa na kankame kujera yayinda wani irin nishi wanda bazan iya rikewa ba tazo min, ina ji har dan jaririn ya fito daga jikina, na sauke wani numfashi jikina sharkaf da gumi duk da acn da take palon. Na saka hannu na dauko shi, the smallest most cutest baby dana taba gani a rayuwata. Komai nasa irin na babansa ne except dan karamin ɗagaggen bakin sa da yake irin nawa, nayi murmushi ina jin sonsa for the first time yana huda zuciyata. But baya kuka, baya numfashi, aren’t babies suppose to cry in aka haife su? Na jijjiga shi, “wake up little soldier” shiru, na dora bakina akan nasa ina hura masa iska irin yadda naga anayi a film amma shiru, na saka fingers dina guda biyu ina danna masa little kirjinsa shima shiru. Wani ciwon ne ya sake dawo min, babu shiri na jawo rigar Saghir da ya ajiye na dora babyn akai na koma fagen fama har na haifi dan uwansa. Na dauko shi shima ina kallon fuskarsa, kamarsu daya da dan uwansa kamar an tsaga kara. Na dan jijjiga shi da dan saurin karfin daya rage min sai naga yayi motsi ya danyi kuka kadan sai kuma yayi shiru. Na ajiye shi kusa da dan uwansa ina feeling very dizzy, a lokacin ne na lura da jinin da yake malala akan tiles din palon. Na koma na kwanta kusa dasu a ina kallonsu. And it occurred to me that karshen rayuwata kenan, sai naji dadi saboda ina ganin nayi shahada na samu kyakykyawan karshe, my only regret a lokacin shine mutuwa without seeing Sadauki again. Bansani ba ko bacci nayi ko kuma suma nayi, amma cikin either baccin ko suman ne nayi mafarki ina tsaye a cikin cincirindon mutane hannayena biyu a rike da babies dina, hawaye yana fita a idona ina kwalla kiran neman taimako amma kowa yana ta harkokin gabansa babu wanda yako kallo inda nake, can sai ga Sadauki yana kutso kai ta cikin mutanen yana tahowa inda nake amma yawan mutanen da suke gurin ya saka yakasa karasowa sai ya tsaya daga nesa yana miko min hannu, kawai sai na zubar da babies din hannuna na kama hannunsa amma ina kamawa sai ya bace ya barni ni kadai a tsakiyar mutane. Na kwalla masa kira “Sadauki! Sadauki!! Sadauki!!!” Amma bai dawo ba.+ Ji nayi ana rirrike ni ana ƙoƙarin kwantar dani yayinda ni kuma nake ta yunkuri ina kiran Sadauki. Na bude idona naga nurses suna tura ni akan gadon marasa lafiya, ga Inna tana biye dasu a baya zani a hannu har suka tura ni wani daki suka rufe kofa, sai kuma naji shigar allura a hannu na, daga nan na koma baccin ko suman ne ban sani ba. Sanda na kuma farkawa I was feeling much better, dan a hankali na bude idona na sauke su akan ledar ruwan da take sakale a jikin karfe sannan nabi tube din da ya taho daga kasanta da kallo har zuwa inda ruwan yake shiga jikina. Na fara karewa dakin kallo ina kokarin recalling abinda ya kawo ni nan. Idona ya sauka akan Inna da take zaune rashe rashe a dandaryar kasa duk kuwa da cewa akwai kujera a dakin. Kuka take da iyakacin karfinta, sai na tambayi kaina “kukan me take yi?”. Abinda na fara tunawa shine kyakykyawar fuskar jarirai na, sai naji wani relief yazo min cewa ban mutu ba at least zan sake ganin su, zan dauko su in rungume su a jikina. Sai naji xewa yanzu na sami wani source of happiness din bayan Sadauki. Nace “Inna” sai naga ta juyo da sauri gurina tana share hawayenta da gyalenta, tazo ta zauna a kusa dani ta rike hannuna wanda babu ruwan a jiki “sannu Diyam” na gyada mata kai kawai, zuciyata tana so ta tambayeta ina jarirai na amma sai baki na ya kasa furtawa. Ta tambaye ni “menene yake miki ciwo yanzu?” Na rasa me zance mata saboda duk ilahirin jikina ciwo yake yi tun daga kaina har yan yatsun kafata. Na tuna irin wahalar da nasha dan ko a mafarki ban taba tsammanin haka haihuwa take da azaba ba, na tuna mafarki na, sai naji ina jin haushin Sadauki me yasa ya rabu dani in the first place, mai yasa duk sanda nake bukatar sa nake samun bayanan? Inna ta tashi da sauri ta fita, sai gasu sun dawo tare da wata nurse da tazo tana yi min sannu sannan ta auna bp na ta duba idona da hannuna tace da Inna “har yanzu mijin nata bai zo dawo ba? Yarinyar nan fa in ba’a kara mata jini ba za’a iya rasata, gashi har ta fara kumbura. It is a miracle ma da take a raye wallahi” Inna ta karkata kai “nayi ta kiransa wayar bata shiga wallahi, nayi ta kiran mahaifiyarsa ita ma bata dauka ba, yanzu babu wani abu da za’a iya yi mata kafin kanwata tazo? Tayi tafiya zuwa Abuja ne amma tace min yanzu zasu taho ita da mijinta” nurse din ta girgiza kai tace “gaskiya babu wani abu da zan iya yi mata ni dai, jinin nan dai shi za’a kara mata kamar leda uku first sannan kuma muga yadda za’ayi” Inna ta gyara mayafinta tace “bara in fita in je gidan da kaina” har ta kai bakin kofa kuma sai ta juyo “babu komai idan na tafi na barta ita kadai?” Nurse din tace “babu komai, allurar baccin ma zan sake yi mata. Amma kiyi sauri, in babu kudin ma ki samo maza wadanda za’a iya dauka a jikin su” Inna ta sake kallo na sannan ta fita da sauri. Nurse din tazo kaina tana zuko allura tace “ki godewa Allah yarinya, you are very lucky” tana yi min allurar na tambayeta “ina babies din dana haifa?” Ta girgiza kai tace “ban sani ba gaskiya, ke kadai aka kawo ki nan tun cikin daren jiya” daga nan bacci ya dauke ni ina wandering ina babies dina?. Sanda ma kuma farkawa Inna na gani tana waya tana kuka “wallahi Hafsa babu ko dari a hannuna a yanzu, gashi suna ta tsorata ni da yana yin jikin nata. Naje gidan babu wanda ma na samu duk sun tafi asibiti gurin Alhaji” naji kamar kaina ya kara nauyi,nayi kokarin daga hannuna naji shi kamar ba a jikina yake ba, eyelids dina ma kansu sunyi nauyi. Na sake cewa “Inna” ta ajiye wayar da take yi ta taho gurina da sauri ta rike hannuna “sannu Diyam, Allah zai dube mu kinji? Allah zai dubi maraicinki ya bamu yadda zamuyi”. Kamar amsa maganar ta sai ga wani doctor sun shigo shida nurse, hannunta dauke da ledojin jini guda biyu tazo da sauri ta fara kokarin dauka min. Inna ta mike “jini? A ina aka samu jini” kana jin muryar ta zaka fahimci wani relief a ciki. Doctor ya juyo yana kallonta yace “ba ke kika kirawo wani dan uwanku ba?” Tayi saurin girgiza kai, “ni ban kira kowa ba, ban samu kowa ba da naje gidan” doctor yace “but baki dade da fita ba wani yazo yace dan uwanku ne, mun dauka ke kika turo shi, yace a debi jininsa, kuma muna aunawa muka ga yayi matching, shi leda ukun ma yaso bayarwa mu muka ce kar ya zama affected shi kuma. Ya biya dukkan bills dinku na gado da kudin magunguna duk mun rubuta masa ya biya har da kari wai ko wani abin zai taso” Inna ta koma ta zauna akan kujera “to waye wannan kuwa?” Nurse din tace “Halima Usman Kollere dai yace yana nema. Ya shigo nan ma ya tarar tana bacci sai ya fita”. Inna ta rasa bakin magana.3 Nurse ta gama daura min jinin ta juya suka gama rubuce rubuce ita da doctor sannan suka fita yayin da Inna ta zauna tana ta jera addu’a zuwa ga savior dina. “Allah ya bashi abinda yake so duniya da lahira. Yadda ya bude mu Allah ka bude shi shida zuri’arsa, Allah ya biya shi da gidan aljanna” na gyara kwanciya ta ina kallon window, dare ne, meaning na kwana na wuni kenan da haihuwa. Ina ‘ya’ya na?1 Washegari sanda na farka naji muryar Mama suna magana da Inna, sai kuma hayaniyar su Asma’u da Muhsina. Na bude ido ina kwallon su, they looked like twins, ina twins dina? A tare suka taho gurina suna rige rigen rije hannuna, nayi musu murmushi ina shafa kawunansu, Mama ta taso itama “sannu Diyam, ya jikin naki?” Nayi gyaran murya nace “da sauki Mama” tayi murmushi tace “naji dadin yadda na ganki, da duk hankali na ya tashi, ai mun auna arziki sosai” Inna tace “gashi kinga har ta fara sabewa, amma jiyan nan duk a kunbure take. Wannan mutumin Allah ya biya shi da aljanna” Mama tace “ni nafi tunanin irin masu bin asibitin nan ne suna taimaka wa mutane, maybe ya tarar ana zancenta shine ya nuna kamar dan uwane, tunda dai kinga yanuwan duk mun tambaya sunce basu bane ba”. Ni dai ina jinsu ina jiran inji sunyi hirar jarirai na amma shiru. Tare suka kamani suka tashe ni tsaye, na tashi da kyar ina cije lebe, sannan Mama ta hada min ruwan zafi sosai ta kaini toilet da kanta ta gasa min jikina ta kuma saka na shiga ciki. Muna fitowa take ce da Inna “ashe bata karu ba” inna tace “eh fa, haka nurse tace min. To ai yaran ne baki gansu ba yan kanana dasu, ni ko a bakwaini ban taba ganin masu kankantar wadannan ba” Mama tace “Allah sarki. Allah yasa masu ceton ta ne” gabana ya fadi, na juya ina kallon Mama sai naga duk jikinta yayi sanyi, na saki cup din tean data miko min na rufe fuskata da hannayena. Tayi sauri tazo ta rungume ni a jikinta tana jijjiga ni kamar yarinya “kiyi hakuri Diyam, Allahn da ya baki su shi zai baki wadansu. Kuma yayi alƙawarin aljanna ga duk iyayen da ya karbi ran yayansu suka yi hakuri” na kifa kaina a kafadarta nayi ta kuka, sai naji duk ciwon jikin da naje ji ya barni dan wanda nake ji a raina yafi na jikin ciwo. Sai naji muryar da naji jiya ta cewa ban mutu ba ta koma, naji tamkar rayuwa bata da amfani a gare ni. Na rufe idona ina tuno their cute little faces.2 Sai da suka samu na tsagaita da kukan sannan suka saka ni a gaba na basu duk labarin abinda ya faru. Gabaki daya suka dauki salati. Inna tace “amma dai Saghir ya cika makaryaci, cewa fa yayi ita ce ta shiga daki ta rufe kofa sai daya ji shiru ya balla kofar ya shiga ya same ta a haka” na matso hawayen idona nace “wallahi karya yake yi. Shi ya kashe min yara na. Ta sanadiyyar shaye shayensa suka rasa rayuwarsu, bazan taba yafe masa ba wallahi”. Mama tace “duniya ce Diyam, ki barshi da duniya ta ishe shi darasi shi da iyayen nasa dukka. Tun yanzu ba gashi nan sun fara gani ba” Nace “me ya faru?” Mama tace “ai daya gama mayen nasa ya farka ya ganku shine ya dauko ku babies din ko cibiya ba’a yanke ba ya taho daku gida a gigice, a nan aka jere wa Alhaji Babba su a gabansa innarki kuma Saghir din ya dauko ta tare dake ya kawo ku nan, dan wulakanci kuma babu wanda yayi kara ya biyo ku su ta yayan da suka riga suka mutu suke yi. Sai gashi Saghir yana kawo ku nan aka kira shi wai kuma gobara ta tashi a kantin kwari, shagunan Alhaji Babba gabaki daya sun kone kurmus babu abinda aka fitar, yanzu dai Alhaji ya yanke jiki ya fadi, hawan jini ya tashi, har yanzu yana asibiti unconscious”.7 Na karbi tean da Inna ta sake hado min na kurba ina jin zafinsa yana kona min bakina. A raina sai nayi wani tunanin irin hikimar ubangiji da take cikin haihuwar wadannan yaran, sannan kuma na saka a raina cewa mutuwar su tamkar wata sabuwar jarabawa ce a gareni, kuma nayi niyyar yin iyakacin kokarina wajen cinta. Twins dina sunzo sun tafi, ko picture dinsu bani dashi sai wanda nayi saving a memory na, kuma bazan taba mantawa dasu ba har in tafi inda suka tafi. Kwana na biyar a asibitin na warware sai abinda ba’a rasa ba, sai dai something is bothering me deep inside sai dai na kasa magana a kansa. Ina zaune ina cin abincin da Inna ta zuba min ne ina tunanin yadda rayuwata take, kaddara upon kaddara haka take samu na and I wondered wacce kaddarar ce kuma next.