DIYAM CHAPTER 12
Yan uwa da yawa sunzo sun duba ni kuma sunyi min gaisuwar twins dina. Aunty Fatima tazo har sau biyu ita da yaranta, Adda zubaida tazo itama, sai daga baya sai ga kawu Isa nan yazo shida iyalinsa, sai a lokacin yake tambayar inna nawa ne kudin asibitin? Tace masa kawai an biya shikenan sai ya bar maganar ba tare da yaji yadda aka yi aka biya din ba ko kuma waye ya biya ba. Da dare sai ga Hajiya Babba ita da wannan sister din tata, amma babu Saghir babu alamarsa, su inna suka karbe su babu yabo babu fallasa sannan suka tambayesu jikin Alhaji. Sunce yana asibiti har lokacin amma yana samun sauki sosai. Suka kawo min maltina da fruits. Na gaishe su sai Hajiya Babba tace “Diyam, banji dadin abinda kika yi ba ko kadan wallahi, kinga abinda ya jawo ko? Garin kiyayyar Saghir an kusa a rasa rayuka har hudu” Mama da dama kamar jira take yi tace “me Diyam din tayi” Hajiya Babba tace “innarta bata gaya miki ba? Saboda bata son Saghir bata son haihuwa dashi shine ta shiga daki ta rufe kanta wai gwara ta mutu ita da yayan baki daya, gashi nan yanzu yaran da basu ji ba ba su gani ba sun rasa ransu, ga kakansu can kuma rai a hannun Allah. Dan ma Saghir mai taurin zuciya ne da har dashi zamu hada muyi jinya” naji raina yana min zafi, hawaye masu zafi suka kawo a idona, na yunkura zanyi magana Inna ta dakatar dani tace “kar kice komai” ta juya gurin Hajiya Babba tace “wannan magana ce da Saghir ya fada, ita kuma Diyam ba haka ta gaya mana ba tace a gaban Saghir ta haife yara guda biyu yana sheka uban bacci, babu irin tashin da bata yi masa ba amma ko motsawa baiyi ba” sai sukayi dariya duk su biyun, yar uwar Hajiya tace “kuma yanzu ku da hankalin ku sai kuka yadda da wannan maganar? Wanne irin bacci ne mutum zaiyi har a haihu a gabansa bai san anayi ba?” Mama tace “baccin wadanda suka sha suka bugu mana? Wadannan kam aiko yanka su zakayi sai dai su farka su gansu a lahira” sai kuma suka daina dariyar, Hajiya Babba tace “Hafsa? Wacce irin mummunar magana ce kike jifan dan dan’uwanki da ita?” Inna tace “ba mummunar magana bace ba, gaskiyar magana kenan. Saghir shayeshaye yake yi, kuma wannan shayeshayen shi yayi sanadiyar mutuwar wadannan yaran. Wannan shine gaskiyar magana” Hajiya Babba ta juyo kaina, fuskarta babu annuri ta nuna ni tace “Diyam sakayyar soyayyar mu gare ki kenan? Sharrin da zaki yiwa dan uwanki kenan?” Na girgiza kai na nace “ba sharri bane Hajiya, in baku yarda da magana ta ba ku je gidan ku bincika, ku duba dakinsa na tabbatar ba zaku rasa kayan maye ba, ku duba motarsa ba zaku rasa kwalbar giya ba, in still baku yarda ba ku tambayi uwani ta baku labarin yadda ta kwace ni rannan a hannunsa wanda shine dalilin fara nakuda ta ba tare da lokacin haihuwa yayi ba, in still baku yarda ba ku tambayi mai gadin gidan, ai yana ganin dawowarsa gida kullum a buge yake shigowa” sai suka hada baki suna tafa hannaye suna salati “kuji yarinyar nan yar karama da ita amma ta iya shirya magana irin wannan? Ku kuma iyayen ta kuka hau kai kuka zauna dan kun zama butulu ko? Duk kun manta irin alkhairin da Alhaji yayi muku amma shine yanzu saboda abinda ya same shi har zaku juya masa baya ku dorawa tilon dansa sharrin shayeshaye? Dan kunga Alhaji iftila’i ya fada masa shine zaku juya mana baya?”1 Sai ta kama kuka yar uwarta tana rarrashinta. Mama da Inna duk suka tsaya suka saki baki suna kallonta. Sannan Mama tace “Hajiya saratu in kika ce haka baki kyauta mana ba, da Diyam da Saghir duk yayan mu ne amma dole a cikin su in wani ya kauce hanya zamu fada dan gyaransa ba wai dan bata masa suna ba. Bincike ya kamata ayi kamar yadda Diyam tace, wanda duk aka samu da laifi a cikin su sai ayi masa fada dan ya gyara laifukan sa” sai suka tashi cikin fushi suka fice daga dakin. Mama tazo ta zauna kusa dani ta goge min hawayen fuskata tace “kiyi hakuri Diyam, in dai shayeshaye halin Saghir ne wata rana zai yi ne a gaban jama’a yadda babu wanda zai musa”. Ni kam zuciyata zafi take yi min, an jima ba’ayi min abinda ya kona min rai kamar wannan ba, ya Saghir zai kala min wannan sharrin? How can they accused me of killing my own babies? Washegari da safe Hajiya Yalwati tazo itama, tayi ta bawa inna hakuri wai abubuwa ne suka sha kanta ga Alhaji a kwance ga yara ga gida babu kudi. Sai Inna ta bata labarin yadda mukayi dasu Hajiya Babba jiya, sai tace “dalla rabu dasu, waye baisan Saghir yana shaye shaye ba? Amma su kullum sai su ke nuna kamar ba’a sani ba. Yanzu shima uban da ace lafiyar sa kalau kuna gaya masa zai musa”. Da daddare muna zaune Inna tana ta mitar cewa tunda muka zo asibitin Saghir bai ko kira waya ya tambayi jikina ba, bai bada ko kwandala ta magani ba bai kuma nemi yaji inda muka sami kudin maganin ba. Tace “wannan wanne irin aure ne?” Na dauke kaina dan bani da amsar da zan bata. Bayan mun kwanta na yi mata tambayar da take raina. “Inna Sadauki kuwa ko yasan bani da lafiya? Yanzu shi ko duba ni ba zai zo yayi ba ballantana yayi min gaisuwar wadannan yaran? In babu aure tsakanin mu ai akwai shakuwa ko? Shi din tamkar yaya yake a gare ni” sai tayi shiru kamar bata jini ba, sai can tace “Diyam bansan inda Sadauki yake ba. Yaya ladi ma da naje nemanta gidan Alhaji Bukar ance min ta tashi kuma basu gaya min inda ta koma ba” na mike zaune nace “nemanta kikaje yi inna?” Tace “eh, naje nemanta da niyyar in bata gadon zainabu na gidan ku kamar yadda kika bani shawara amma ban same ta ba. Bansan ya zanyi ba yanzu”. Nayi ajjiyar zuciya kawai ina wondering what happened? Ina Sadauki? Ko yana bornon? Ya samu admission din kuwa ko bai samu ba? Is he doing well? Na lumshe idona ina hangen fuskarsa a cikin kaina. Washegari bayan an gama duk tests din da za’a yi suka sallamemu, muna shirin tafiya sai ga mutanen gidan Alhaji Babba nan sunzo, har da saghir, a lokacin ne suka fada mana an sallami Alhajin shima jiya, Hajiya Babba tana ta wani yayyatsina tana bata fuska, shi ogan ma a bakin kofa ya tsaya ya gaishe da Inna sannan yace min “sannu” na tattara shi na bawa iska ajjiyarsa. Budar bakin Hajiya sai cewa tayi “amma Diyam gidan ta za’a mayar da ita ba ko?” Inna ta tsaya tana kallon ta tace “ban gane ba” Hajiya tace “ina ganin abinda yafi shine ta zauna a gidanta, sai a tura wata matar haka take kula da ita kafin jikinta yayi kwari saboda kinga shi Saghir kinga babu dadi a barshi shi kadai a gida ba mace” Inna tace “haka ne” sai ta yafa mayafinta ta kama hannuna muka mike, ranta ya baci sosai. Tace “shi Saghir din yasan yana da matar amma tunda ta kwanta kwana bakwai bai waiwayo inda take ba? Shi Saghir din shin anyi masa fada akan abinda tace yanayi ko kuwa haka za’a kuma daukanta a mayar masa in yaso ya karasa kashe ta? Ina son Diyam fa nima ba wai bana sonta bane ba, ina kawaici ne kawai saboda karfin zumuncin da nake hangowa a tsakanin mu amma kuma kunsan wallahi da mahaifinta yana da rai ko soma maganar nan ma ba za’ayi ba ballantana ayi ta” Aunty amarya tace “haba Amina, yanzu kiri kiri a gaban mu kike nuna Diyam taki ce ba tamu gabaki daya ba, yanzu zumuncin har yakai haka tabarbarewa?” Na juya ina kallon Saghir har yanzu yana tsaye da hannayensa a cikin aljihunsa yana bin kowa dai dai da kallo, naji a raina ni kam ko inna ta yarda da komawa ta gidansa ni ba zan koma ba, gwara in shiga duniya yafi min sauki. Na zame hannuna daga na inna na fice daga dakin. A bakin gate din asibitin na tsaya ina sharar hawaye, sai ga Inna da saurinta ta rike ni, “Diyam ya akayi kika fito ke kadai? Ina zaki je?” Na sunkuyar da kaina bance mata komai ba. Muna tsaye a waje suka fito, Saghir shi kadai ne a motarsa sai Hajiya tace ya dauke mu, nasan a lokacin da inna tana da kudi da ba zamu shiga motar Saghir ba amma dai haka muka shiga muka zauna a baya mu biyu, yana ta wani bata rai irin shi ba haka yaso din nan ba. Ina zama na kwantar da kaina na lumshe idanuwana ina tunanin ta inda zan fara neman Sadauki, I just want to see him koda bance masa komai ba. Naji ya tayar da motar, sai naji Inna tace “Yakasai zaka kai mu” nayi saurin bude ido na ina kallonta, a raina nace ‘finally’ Finally Inna ta yi breaking out of her shell zata yi flying, to kawai yace mata ya dauki hanyar gidan mu. Naji mun tsaya na kuma bude idona sai naga traffic light ce ta tsayar damu a gefen asibitin, na dan sauke glass din windown da nake saboda in sha iska tunda babu ac, kamar daga sama naji kamar an ambaci sunana da muryar da ba zan taba mantawa ba, nayi saurin dago kai amma sai naga su inna kamar basu ji kiran ba, and then I smelled him, wani unique smell wanda daga gurinsa kawai nake jin sa, nayi saurin kallon window na and there he was, Sadauki, yana tsaye da hannayensa cikin aljihunsa yana kallona da budaddun idanunsa. Yayi loosing weight sai naga kamar ya kara tsaho, fuskarsa da kansa suna bukatar aski. Na zauna kawai ina kallonsa as the time froze and my heart stopped. He just stood there looking at me, sai kuma na kwalla masa kira “Sadauki!!” Inna ta juyo a tsorace ta riko ni tana tambayata lafiya, na juyo na kalleta sannan na juya da niyyar nuna mata sadaukin dana gani but ge was gone, as if yayi vanishing. Kuka nake iyakacin karfina ina kiran sunan Sadauki yayinda Inna ta rike ni take tofa min addu’a, Saghir kuma yana bala’i duk da bana jin abinda yake cewa nasan akan kiran sunan Sadauki da nake yi ne ni kuma ban daina ba. Har muka je gida ina kuka na, though na daina yi da karfi sai ajjiyar zuciya nake yi. Ina jin Saghir yana cewa “wannan Sadauki dama naji ance dangin mayu ne, tunda kin kwallafa shi a ranki ba dole yake yi miki gizo ba? In kuma da gaske shi din kika gani Allah ya bashi sa’ar yi miki magana in nuna masa shi karamin dan iska ne” daga ni har inna ba wanda ya kula shi wanda hakan ya bani mamaki dan nasan inna bata wuce tayi in dai akan zagin Sadauki ne. A raina nace “kaji Saghir din nan da son a sani gaida uwar saurayi a kasuwa”.+ A kofar gidan mu yayi packing muka fito, na tsaya ina kallon gidan da yake holding so much memories, good memories, Inna ta dauko key a jakarta ta bude gidan ni kuma na dauko mana jakar mu zan wuce ciki naji Saghir yana cewa “anan zan barku ne naga kuna daukan kaya?” Ban kula shi ba sai Inna tace “eh” daga haka itama bata kara komai ba muka shiga cikin gidan. Na tsaya a tsakar gida na jingina da bishiya ina karewa gidan kallo, ko ina yayi datti dukun dukun. Inna ta bude dakin ta ta shiga sai ta dauko key din dakin baffa shima tazo ta bude. Cikin dakunan basu yi datti sosai ba. Na zauna akan kujera ina tambayarta “Inna anan zamu zauna ko? Ba zamu koma gidan Alhaji Babba ba ko?” Eh kawai tace min sai ta dauki kayan shara ta tafi ta fara share dakin baffa. Na taso na biyo ta zan taya ta tace “ke da baki da lfy kiyi zamanki kawai” amma sai naki, tana share yana ni kuma ina karkade kurar kan furnitures, a haka muka gama gara cikin daki da palon sa, muka wanke toilet dinsa na palo sannan sai gasu Mama sunzo ita da yammatan ta da yake ranar weekend ne babu school, su suka karasa aikin tsakar gida da kitchen da garage. Dakunan umma kuma aka rufo su muka zauna a palon Baffa muka ci abincin da Mama ta taho mana dashi sannan Mama da Inna suka fita su kace zasu je gidan Alhaji Babba. Bayan sun tafi ne Rumaisa take tambayata “Diyam, bani labarin yadda haihuwa take, naji Mama tana cewa kinyi kokari kin haifi yara biyu ke kadai babu taimako, ya kika ji?” Na girgiza kaina kawai, ni kadai nasan yadda naji, babu wanda zai gane kuma yadda naji din sai wanda ya tsinci kansa a irin hakin dana tsinki kaina. Ba kuma nayi wa Rumaisa fatan shiga halin da na tsinci kaina. Sai bayan magrib su Inna suka dawo, sun debo duk kayan Inna da na Asma’u, amma duk naga rayukansu a bace suke daga dukkan alamu ba rabuwar arziki akayi ba. Asma’u ta shigo tana ta tsallen murnar dawowa gida, tace “Adda ina son gidan nan wallahi, nafi son muyi zaman mu anan dani dake da inna”. Washegari muka yi breakfast da yan kudaden da Mama ta bamu da zata tafi, bayan nan kuma sai Inna ta fita can sai gata ta dawo da dillaliya, suka shiga dakinta suna ta cinikin kaya ni dai ban bisu ba, daga baya matar ta fita sai gata ta dawo da maza suna ta jidon kayan dakin inna. Set din gadonta, set din kujerunta, kayan kallon ta kai hatta labulayenta sai da aka fita dasu. Katifar dakin mu ce kawai aka kawo nan dakin Baffa sai sauran tarkace kuma ta saka almajirai suka tattara ta zuba su a dakin soro. Sai aka share dakin kuma aka rufe shi. Naje na leka dakin Ummah ta taga naga yana nan yadda yake ko kayanta ba’a kwashe ba. Da daddare naga Inna ta zauna tana ta lissafin kudi. Kafin sati ya zagayo mun samu tenants a gidan mu, sai akayi yar karamar katanga a tsakanin mu for privacy. Mata da miji ne da kananan yayansu guda biyu Iman da Saudat, da zasu tare sai sukayi fenti suka hada harda gurin mu suka yi mana. Matar mai kirki, irin masu son shiga mutanen nan ce dan tun da suka zo data gama abinda taje yi zata zagayo gurin mu muyi ta hira, in mijin ya siyo wa yayansa wani abu kuwa sai kiga ta dibo ta bawa Asma’u. Kudin kayan da inna ta siyar, sai ga Mama tazo ta dauke ta suka fita sai gasu sun dawo da lodin kaya, tun daga kan shinkafa har zuwa ashana, sabulan wanka dana wanki kala kala, har da biscuits da sweets da bobo na yara, ta saka aka buga mata runfa daga gefe ta jibge kayan ni na dauka kayan amfanin mune har ina lissafin watannin da zamuyi muna amfani dasu sai naji ta tura Asma’u duk makotan mu ta gaya musu tana siyar da kaya. Kwanon shinkafa kanon fulawa, har gwangwani daya in kana so zata auna maka, manja man gyada barkono babu abinda Inna bata siyarwa. Ta mayar da Asma’u kuma former school dinta, da yake tsohuwar dalibar suce ba’a siya mata form da uniform ba kawai books aka siya mata sai kudin makaranta wanda a take Inna ta biya, Asma’u tana ta murna. Sai naji dadi dana bata wannan shawarar, na kuma ji dadi data dauka. STORY CONTINUES BELOW A bangare na kuwa tunda muka koma gida kullum sai wata makociyar mu ta shigo tayi min wankan jego, wankan runhu take yi min inyi ta kuka wai zafi amma ni kaina nasan inajin dadin wankan. Sosai na warware na dawo haiyacina karfina ya dawo jikina. Inna kullum tana diban kudi ta siyo min nama ta dafa minmai romo ta saka in chinye in shanye romon, ga tuwo zatayi min da dare da safe ta dumama min. Har addu’a nake Allah kar ya kawo karshen wannan zaman nawa. Amma ina….2 Tunda muka zo gida babu wanda ya kara bibiyar mu a cikin yan uwanmu, Saghir ko mai kama dashi ban gani ba, hatta aunty Fatima bata zo ba sai mama ce kadai take ziyartaru tana duba lafiya ta. Ta gaya mana itama duk sun daina kulata kuma suna ta surutun wai dan karayar arziki ta samu Alhaji Babba shi yasa muka juya masa baya, bayan mu abinda yayi mana bayan rasuwar Baffa ya dauko mu ya rike mu ya aurar dani ga dansa mafi soyuwa a gurinsa amma duk bamu gani ba saboda mun zama butulu. Inna tace “Allah ai shi yasan abinda zuciyar bayinsa”.1 Sai da mukayi wata uku a haka, har na gama wanka duk da cewa na wata biyu akayi min. Ranar nan muna zaune da maman iman muna cin wake da shinkafa sai najiyo Inna tana waya, daga jin sunan data ambata nasan kiran daga Kollere ne, ai kuwa tana gama wa naga jikinta yayi sanyi tace min “Hardo ne. Yace yana neman mu duk a Kollere ranar asabar” tun daga nan naji duk wutar jikina ta dauke. Washegari kuwa dai zazzaɓi. Ranar asabar da assuba Mama tazo tare da driver suka dauke mu ni da Inna muka bar Asma’u a gurin maman Iman. A hanya nayi kwanciya ta a mota trying so hard not to think about what the outcome of the meeting might be. Muna zuwa muka tarar already su Alhaji Babba, kawu Isa, Aunty Fatima da kuma Saghir suna can. Tun kafin mu gama gaishe da Hardo ya fara fada. “Yanzu wato tun kafin in bar duniya har kanku ya rarrabu irin haka? Har zumuncin ku ya tarwatse har haka? Har son zuciya ta son yayanku ya rufe muku ido kun manta da yanuwantakar da take tsakanin ku? Kun manta da tarbiyyar da ni da inno muka baku?” Ni dai ina rakube dama daga can bakin kofar shiga dakinsa, na hango Saghir shima a can daya end din su kuma iyayen mu suna tsakiya. Sai daya gama fadansa sannan yace a tsara masa abinda ya faru, kawu Isa ne yayi bayanin haihuwata da rasuwar twins da kuma abinda ya sami Alhaji Babba na gobara, duk da cewa duk Hardo yasan wannan, sai kuma yayi bayanin shi Saghir abinda yace da kuma ni abinda nace, ya kara da cewa “mu abinda ya bamu haushi shine yadda Amina ta rufe idonta ta goyi bayan Diyam, bayan kowa yasan tsakanin mata da miji sai Allah babu ta yadda za’a gane mai gaskiya a cikin su. Kawai ta hana yarinyar komawa gidan mijinta ba tare da anyi bincike ba. Sannan kuma ta hada kayan ta ta bar gidan Alhaji Babba a lokacin da yake tsaka da bukatar kulawar yan uwansa, ta koma gidan marigayi ta bude ta kafa zaman kanta. Wannan ne yasa muma muka zare ta daga jikin mu”. Hardo ya hada su gaba-daya ya wanke su, yace da mai gaskiya da marar gaskiya duk a gurinsa masu laifi ne, sannan yace “ni yanzu zan yanke hukunci, sai kuma inga wanda a cikin ku zai nuna min cewa ya girma yanzu yayi ya’ya kuma ni bani da iko akan ya’yansa” ya fada yana kallon Inna data sunkuyar da kanta kasa. Ya nuna ni yace “Haleema” nace “na’am” yace “zaki koma gidan mijinki” na runtse ido hawayena yana zubo wa. Ya dora “uwani zata biku ku cigaba da zama tare kamar wancan karon. Zan gaya mata cewa ta saka ido sosai a kanka kai Saghir ko sau daya ta tabbatar da maganar Halima ni da kaina zan karbi takardar ta a hannunka. Sannan abu na gaba shine zaka saka ta a makaranta, zata karasa karatunta na secondary inta gama kuma in kun daidaita a tsakanin ku sai ta cigaba. Ka fahimta?” Saghir yayi gyaran murya yace “na fahimta Hardo, kuma ina godiya” Hardo ya juyo kaina yace “ke fa Halima? Kin fahimta?” Na gyada kaina, yace “ki bude baki kiyi magana mana?” Sai na bare baki na saka kuka. Nan take ya koreni daga dakin yace in tafi cikin gida.2 Anan muka kwana, naga Inna ta dan shiga yan’uwanta suna magana sama sama. Ni kuwa babu wanda na kula ina kudundune ina zazzaɓi. Da daddare wai sai ga kira inje inji Saghir yana waje, na tashi naga duk suna kallona dan haka na saka hijab na fita, na dan tsaya a soro na bata lokaci sai na dawo gida nayi kwanciya ta. Da safe kowa ya shirya zamu tafi, mukayi sallama da mutan gida ina fitowa waje na hango Saghir a tsaye a jikin motar dasuka zo da ita ya harde kafafu yana kada key, na dauke kaina zan wuce yace “babu gaisuwa?” Na juya baya naga kawu Isa yana kallon mu sai na gaishe shi ciki ciki, ya amsa yana murmushi yace “in kin koma gida ki shirya jibi zan zo mu tafi” na faki ido na jefa masa harara na wuce. A raina nace “munafiki”. Mun koma gida da kwana biyu kuwa sai gashi da safe wai in fito mu tafi. Na koma nayi kwanciya ta Inna tace “tashi ki dauki mayafinki ku tafi, sauran kayanki zan hado miki in aiko miki dasu” na fara kuka, sai ta zauna kusa dani ta jawo ni jikinta tace “kiyi hakuri Diyam, nasan wannan duk laifina ne dan tun farko ni na bada kofa har akayi miki auren nan, yanzu kuma babu yadda zanyi tunda igiyar auren ba a hannuna take ba. Kiyi hakuri kinji?” Sai naga kwalla a idonta, nayi saurin goge hawayena ina gyada kai, ta dauko sabuwar waya a cikin kwalinta da sim card ta miko min tace “tun ranar nan na siyo miki wata. Ki tafi da ita, duk halin da kike ciki ki kirani ko ki kira Hafsa ki gaya mana. Uwanin ma munyi waya da ita tace min itama yau zata je. Ki yi ta addu’a kina gaya wa Ubangiji kukan ki, shi kadai ne zai zaba miki abu mafi alkhairi a rayuwar ki”. A mota na tarar dashi a zaune yana jin kida, na kai hannu zan bude baya sai ya danna lock ya rufe, dole na na shiga gaba yaja motar ba tare daya ce min komai ba. Ina ta kuka na kasa kasa har mukayi nisa muka kusa unguwar sannan yace “wallahi ko kiyi shiru da kukan nan ko kuma in sauke ki a gurin nan” nayi shirun tunda nasan ba karamin aikinsa bane ya saukeni a wajen. A bakin gate ya ajiye ni, ina fitowa ya ja motarsa yayi gaba. Na shiga gidan ni kadai kamar mayya. Maigadi ya taso ya muka gaisa na bude palo na ganshi kamar wanda akayi yakin badar a ciki, kaca kaca, ga used plates nan ko’ina duk sun bushe. Bedrooms ne kadai masu dan kyau suma bawai gyarawa akayi ba amma dai ba’a bata su ba. Na lura cewa abubuwa da yawa were missing a gidan, daga dukkan alamu kayan gidan su suka koma source of income na Saghir. Na kunna tv naga lafiyar ta kalau,na fara tattara gidan kenan naji a tv an sako wakar Westlife ta coast to coast “my Love” An empty street, An empty house, A hole inside my heart, I’m all alone The rooms are getting smaller. I wonder how, I wonder why, I wonder where they are, The days we had, The songs we sang together Oh yeah And all my love I’m holding on forever, Reaching for the love that seems so far, So I say a little prayer, And hope my dreams will take me there, Where the skies are blue To see you once again, my love, Over seas from coast to coast, To find the place I love the most Where the fields are green To see you once again, my love To hold you in my arms, To promise you my love, To tell you from my heart You’re all I’m thinking of. And reaching for the love that seems so far……..3 Sai naji kamar dani suke a wakar with Sadauki as my faraway love. Na zauna akan kujera na kama sana’ar tawa ta kuka. Ina cikin yi uwani tayi sallama ta shigo, sai na tashi da gudu naje na rungume ta. Tare muka gyara gidan gaba-daya, sannan uwani ta fitar da kudi daga aljihunta ta bawa maigadi yayo mana cefane mukayi girki. Muna gamawa sai ga Saghir yazo ya zauna a palo suna gaisawa da uwani sannan ya ce min “kawo min abinci” Sai na juya ina mamakin karfin hali irin na Saghir, kai da baka bada kudin cefane ba ina kai ina neman abinci? Ina kallonsa ya dauki wayata ya duba, sai naga ya daddanna ya ajiye. Da dare na fito daga wanka ina shirin kwanciya waya ta tayi kara. Na dauka ina duba number din dan number inna da ta Mama kawai nsyi saving dazu a gurin uwani. Na dauka naji muryar Saghir “ki kawo min ruwa dakina” na ajiye wayar nayi tsaki. Har zan kwanta sai kuma na saka hijab dina na dauko ruwan naje na kai masa. Yana kwance ya kashe fitila ya rufa da bargo, na ajiye ruwan ba tare dana ce masa komai ba. Zan fita yace “Diyam” na juyo ina kallonsa ya nuna kusa dani a kan gado yace “come here” na watsa masa harara na juya yace “kin san dai hakkina ne ko?” Na juyo nace “kai wanne daga cikin hakkokin ka ka sauke?” Yace “ki bani chance ki gani. Kuma nasan so far I have been trying my best” na fara tunanin wanne ne best din nasa. Sai ji nayi yace “zanyi Allah ya isa in baki zo ba” na juya da sauri ina kallonsa nace cikin mamaki “are you for real?” Ya daga kafada yace “bani da wani choice ai, ina bukatar ki kin ki bani, bazan iya miki dole ba so my only choice is to do Allah ya isa, ta rago” na juyo kamar wadda aka saka wa remote ina tunanin yadda aljanna ta take kasan kafarsa amma a lokacin babu abinda nake so irin in shake kyakykyawan wuyansa har sai ya daina numfashi. Na zauna a bakin gado na juya masa baya ina jin hawayena yana zuba a cinyoyi na, ina jinsa ya matso ya zare rigata sannan ya jawo ni zuwa jikinsa, ina jinsa yayi duk abinda yake ganin zai iya yayin da ni kuma kukana yake kara tsananta har ya gama abinsa. Ya sake ni yana mayar da numfashi. Na mike zaune na jawo rigata na saka ba tare dana kalleshi ba na mike sai ji nayi yace “shikenan kuma? Ko dan curdle din nan ma, irin falling asleep together din nan na masu aure babu, na juyo ina kallonsa da kumburarrun idanuwana, yayi murmushi nace “shima in banzo ba Allah ya isan zaka yi?” Yace “well, yes” na juyo na dawo na kwanta. Ya matso da pillon sa kusa dani ya jawo ni jikinsa sannan ya jawo bargo ya rufe mu.Da assuba na tashi kamar kullum, na cire hannayensa daga kaina na mike ina kallonsa yana ta sharar baccinsa, ban tashe shi ba tunda ni dai dama ban taba jinsa ya fita masallaci ba, na tafi dakina na shiga toilet na kunna wa kaina shower wai ko zata sanyaya min zuciya, inna wanke jiki na sai in sake wanke wa in sake wanke gani nake kamar duk Saghir dinne a mammanne a jikina, ji nake ina ma ace zan iya cire fatar jikina in sake wata wadda Saghir bai taba ba? Nayo wanka na na fito na saka doguwar riga ta hijab nayi sallah ina addu’a Allah ya kawo min karshen auren nan, sai kuma na chanja nace idan auren shine mafi alkhairi a gare ni Allah ya cire min Sadauki daga zuciyata ya shiryar da Saghir ya saka min sonsa a raina. Ko da banso shi ba at least in rage tsanarsa hakan zai dan rage min zafin da nake ji a zuciyata.3 Ina nan kan sallayata har gari yayi haske rana ta fito, sai naji an bude kofar dakin da nake, na juya ina kallon Saghir daya dau wanka yasa gayunsa kamar kullum sai kamshi yake, ya tako har tsakiyar dakin da takalmin sa a kafarsa yace min “ki zo ki bani breakfast zan fita” na dauke kaina gefe saboda wani takaici da ganinsa ya saka min nace “ka kawo abin breakfast din ne?” Yace “ki duba dakina akwai kayan tea sai ki hada min tea, akwai kuma kwai a kitchen sai ki soya min” daga haka ya fita, na tashi nayi abinda yace na kawo masa palon sama yana zaune yana kallo, na zauna ina kallonsa har ya gama ya karkade jikinsa zai tashi nace “mu kuma fa? Me zamu ci” ya tsaya yana kallona yace “babu abinci a store?” Nace “ka ajiye ne?” Yace “bana son maganar banza in babu kawai kice min babu” nace “ai ka fini sanin babun” yace “ku sha tean mana to, kafin lokacin abincin rana ai zan dawo” yayi hanyar waje nace “in baka dawo ba nima zanyi Allah ya isa” sai kawai ya juyo ya kalleni yayi murmushi ya fita.3 Bai dawo ba din kuwa. Haka na samu wata guntuwar shinkafa a store muka dafa fara dama uwani tayo guzurin yaji muka ci da mai da yaji. Bai dawo ba sai dare, daren ma sai bayan mun kwanta kuma nasan maybe yayi hakan ne dan kar inyi masa mitar bai ciyar dani ba. Da safe ina kasa muna gyaran gida sai gashi ya sauko, ya leka wajeya kira mai gadi sai naga sun hau sama tare ya bashi akwati ya sauko dashi kuma daga ganin akwatin nasan da kaya a ciki, akwatin cikin kayan lefe nane. Nabi mai gadin da kallo har ya fita sannan na hau saman muka hadu dashi yana kokarin saukowa nace “wancan kamar kayana naga an fita dasu, ko dai ido na ne?” Bai kalle ni ba yace “aro na dauka, zan siya miki wasu idan wadansu kudina da nake jira sun zo” nace “ko aron ne ai ana tambayar mutum kafin a dauki aron kayansa, kuma ni ban bayar da aron ba a dawo min da abi na” yace “ta yaya zamu zauna da kaya cikin akwati alhalin store din abincin mu babu komai? Ai ba kyauta nace ki bani ba aro ne kuma zan biya ki kin dai san ni ba talaka ba ne ba ko?” Kafin in bashi amsa ya fice. Na shiga dakina na tarar duk ya hargitsa min kaya, kusan duk kayan lefe na masu tsadar ya dauke. Bakin ciki ya kama ni kawai sai na zauna ina kuka, sai na tambayi kaina, wai yaushe ne zanyi farin ciki ni kam, yaushe ne zanyi murmushi, irin geniun smile din nan mai zuwa har zuci.1 Ya siyo mana kayan abinci sosai, ya kuma bani 10k ya ce kudin cefane “saura kuma a karar dasu da wuri ace min babu” sauran kudin kuma bansan me yayi dasu ba. Kwana biyu bayan nan, tunda rana naga yana tayi min fara’a sai nasha jinin jikina, da dare ina kwance a daki sai gashi ya bude kofa ya shigo nayi sauri na rufe idona dama fitila a kashe take, yace “Diyam, Diyam” nayi banza na rabu dashi. Sai ya hawo kan gado na sai nayi juyi na fara munsharin karya, irin wannan munsharin mai kamar kakin majina, sai yayi tsaki ya tashi ya fita. Na gyara kwanciya ta a raina nace “sai dai kaje ka rungumi pillow bani ba” and that got me thinking, this is his second attempt a kaina a cikin sati daya da dawowa ta, amma wancan karon wata na bakwai a gidan sa tun randa yayi raping dina bai kuma kallata da wannan maganar ba, menene ya chanza yanzu? Sai nayi realising cewa da yana da kudi yanzu bashi dasu, meaning da yana iya siya a waje yanzu ba zai iya siya ba, wato wannan shine dalilinsa na yarda da dawowa ta irin ga banza ta fadi dinnan ko? Ni kuma indai haka ne bazan yarda ba sai nasan yadda nayi na karbar wa kaina yanci. Sai kuma nayi mamakin kaina yadda nayi realizing Saghir yana neman mata amma ko a jikina wai an tsikari kakkausa, ko kadan banji raina ya baci ba alhalin ko a yanzu da nake matar wani in nayi imagining Sadauki da budurwa ba karamin baci raina yake yi ba ballantana inyi imagining dinsa yayi aure. I can only imagine yadda Sadauki yake ji a ransa a yanzu da make matar wani, har na haihu dawani. Ko ya yake ji? Ko ya yake coping? STORY CONTINUES BELOW Washegari ya tashi yana ta fushi, ni ko kallo bai ishe ni ba. Zai fita yace “zanyi baki anjima, abokaina ne manyan mutane ne sun takura wai sai sunzo sun ganki. Please don’t embarrass me, kiyi musu abinci kuma kiyi shiga mai kyau kisa kayan da zasu kara miki girma”. Bai jima da tafiya ba dai sai gashi ya dawo da kaji wai duk ayi musu. Mukayi abinci ni da uwani muka jera a dining, muka gyara gida tsaf yana ta kamshi na tafi sama nayi wanka na saka wata doguwar riga ta atamfa, dama ba kwalliya nake yi ba, na saka hijab nayi sallah ina zaune akan sallaya ya shigo yace “gasu sunzo, kuma please ki cire wannan dogon abin” ya juya ya koma, na tsaya ina tunanin menene dogon abin, doguwar rigar ko kuma hijab din?1 Na tashi na gyara hijab dina na bishi, suna zaune a palon kasa kusan su biyar duk irin sa, yayan masu kudi masu ji da kansu. Na zauna a hannun kujera na gaishe su suka amsa, suna tsokana ta wai amaryar da ake boyewa, ina kallon Saghir yana ta harara ta nayi kamar ban ganshi ba sai cewa yayi “kin zo kin zauna kin saka mutane a gaba, ba zaki tashi ki kawo musu ruwa ba?” Na fahimci lallai so yake ya dizga ni a gaban abokan sa ya nuna musu ba sona yake yi ba, ni kuwa bai san yadda nake jin haushinsa yafi yadda yake jin nawa ba. Na mike sai cewa yayi “au ina miki magana ba zaki tsaya ki gama ji ba sai ki wani tashi ko?” Na dawo da baya na tsaya a gabansa nace “wanne daga ciki kake so Saghir? In tsaya kayi min fadan ne sai in kawo musu ruwan ko kuma in tafi in kawo musu ruwan sai kayi min fadan which one will you like first”. Kusan gaba-daya suka kwashe da dariya. Ya kasa cewa komai ya tsaya yana kallona, sai na daga kafada nace “abinci yana kan dining, you can serve them in ka gama fadan” na juya nayi hayewata sama. Ni kaina nasan na gama da Saghir, amma kuma shi ya jawo wa kansa, me yasa zaiyi tunanin bara ya wulakanta ni a gaban abokan sa? Ko yana ganin hakan zai kara masa class ne a cikin su. Ina nan zaune naji fitarsu a motoci sai kuma naji yana hawowa, nasan zuwa zaiyi mu yita amma sai naji bana jin tsoronsa, ya shigo har dakina ya karaso gabana ya tsaya, kawai sai jin saukar mari nayi a fuskata, saboda karfin marin har saida na daina gani for some seconds sannan ya sauke min a daya side din. Sai da naji taste din jini a bakina. Ya nuna ni da dan yatsa “ke har kin isa ki ce zaki gaya min magana a gaban abokaina, me kika dauki kanki ne? Wallahi ki bini a hankali Diyam in ba haka ba watarana sai na kai gawarki gida” Ya juya ya fita. Na rike fuskata na zauna a bakin gado, bazan iya tuna sanda aka taba marina ba, to ni waye ma mai dukana in banda inna itama kuma mostly a kafa take dukana. Hawaye ya fara bin kuncina ina lissafa irin abinda zai faru da ace da ne wani yayi min wannan marin a gaban Sadauki. Nice kuka har magrib ina tayi, daga yin Sallah kuma sai zazzaɓi mai zafi ya rufe ni. Uwani ta hawo taji ni shiru sai ta tarar bana jin dadi sai ta zauna a waje na har saida Saghir ya dawo sannan ta sauka.1 Tun daga ranar ban kuma lafiya ba, yau zazzaɓi gobe amai jibi ciwon ciki. Saghir kam fushi yake yi dani sosai ni kuwa ta kaina nakeyi, bai ma kula cewa bani da lafiya ba ballantana yayi tunanin kaini asibiti. Bayan nayi kusan sati ina jinya rannan uwani tace min “Diyam anya kuwa ba zaki yiwa Saghir magana ya kaiki asibiti a gwada ki ba? Ni fa ina ganin kamar juna biyu ne dake” sai naji wani amai ya taso min, naje nayi na gama na dawo nace “ciki fa uwani? Wanne irin ciki kuma?” Tace “ni dai na fada miki, kuma kije a gwada ki gani” sai na hau sama da sauri ina jin kamar labarin mutuwa ta uwani ta fada min, na fada kan gado na kama kuka, na shiga uku ni Diyam, sai na fara addu’a “Allah ka dube ni Allah, Allah kasa kar maganar uwani ta zama gaskiya” amma kuma nasan rabo na da period tun ina gidan mu, ga kuma abinda ya faru ranar dana dawo. Ina nan kwance Saghir ya hawo yana kwalla min kira, na tashi na same shi a tsaye a kofar dakinsa yace “ki shiga ki gyara min dakina” na wuce shi na shiga na fara harhada uban lodin kayansa duk daya barbaza a dakin, ga zazzaɓi gashi jikina babu kwari saboda amai. Shi kuma ya tsaya a kofar dakin ya harde hannayensa yana kallona. Na daga wata riga kenan naji kamshin turarensa ya doke ni sai amai, da kyar na karasa toilet na fara karara wa sai ya biyo ni ya tsaya a bakin toilet din yana kallona har na gama sannan yace “baki da lafiya?” Bance masa komai ba yace “me yake damunki?” Nace “zazzaɓi” yace “da amai?” Na girgiza kaina da sauri nace “warin turarenka ne ya saka ni aman” yace “amma ai kullum shi naje sakawa baki taba aman ba sai yanzu. Are you pregnant?” Nayi shiru bance masa komai ba sai yayi tsaki “ke bansan wacce irin mace ba ce ke, daga an taba ki kadan sai ciki” naji wani abu ya tsaya min a kirji na wuce shi na dawo daki ina cewa “tunda dai bani na hau kan kaina nayi wa kaina cikin ba ai da sauki. If you hate me that much ka sallameni mana in tafi” ya biyo ni yana cewa “and who says I hate you?” Na tsaya ina masa kallon kar ka raina min hankali, sai yace “idan da bana sonki Diyam da tuni kina gidan ku wallahi ko dan wannan rashin kunyar taki. Kuma yanzu ko dan wannan samun cikin da ake yi ai ya kamata ki fahimci cewa we are meant to be together. Ki kwantar da hankalin ki muyi rayuwar aure kinki, kin ki cire that Sadauki of a person daga zuriyar ki kuma… ” Ban karasa jin abinda zai fada ba na fito daga dakin na koma nawa.5 Washegari shi ya tashe ni da safe wai in shirya muje asibiti, muna zuwa ya samu doctorn dana lura kamar sun san juna yace “PT zaka mata Please” sai doctorn yayi dariya ya kira wata nurse ya hadamu muka je tayi min. And it came back positive. A ranar nayi kuka kamar idona zai fita. Tunda muka koma gida ya tare a dakina yana jinya ta, shine bani magani shine yi min sannu da su hada min tea, ni duk na dauka jinyar Allah da annabi ce sai daya sauke bukatunsa a kaina sannan na fahimci inda jinyar ta dosa. Kayan lefe dai mun cinye su, babu biya babu ranar biya. Sai kuma yazo ya dauki set din kayan kallo na palon sama ya siyar, daga nan sai set din gadon extra dakin da bama amfani dashi a sama, sai deep freezer. Duk abinda aka siyar daga an dan siyo kayan abinci an dan bani kudin cefane bana kuma sanin inda sauran kudin sukayi. A haka har cikina ya tasa yayi wata biyar. Ranar nan na shiga kitchen na rasa me zan dafa mana na hawo sama na same shi akwance a gado yana daddanna waya. Nace “babu fa abinda za’a ci a gidan nan” sai ya saka hannu a aljihu ya zaro min yadin aljihun na karkade min ya cigaba da danna wayarsa. Sai na samu kaina da tambayar kaina menene role din Saghir a auren mu? Shi aikinsa kawai shine yayi min ciki? Na shigo ciki na zauna a kan bedside nace “Saghir idan ni da kai da uwani mun zauna da yunwa wannan” na nuna cikina, “bai san babu ba” ya kalli cikin nawa sai ya ajiye wayar yace “to wai me kike so inyi? Ni fa ko kudin man da zan zuba a mota in fita bani dashi, ko so kike a ganni a daidaita sahu ake nuna ni a gari? Ko kuma so kike in ke bin gidajen masu kudi ina cewa allazi wahidi? Ko kuma dako kike so in dauka ko lebura ko kuma aikin mechanic? Na fahimci abinda yasa ya fadi mechanic din, so yaje muyi fada inyi zuciya in rabu dashi amma sai nace “eh, so nake kayi duk abinda ka fada indai zaka samu halak dinka. Wai kai ba kayi karatu bane ba? Ina takardun ka, ka karkade su ka fita kane gurin abokan Alhaji su hada ka da connections din da zama samu aiki. At least if you can’t be a good husband try to be a good father”.1 Bansan ya akayi ba kuma ina daki sai gashi da folder din takardu yace zai je gida ya kaiwa Alhaji, sai kuma yace “in na samo kudi a hannun Hajiya sai in taho mana da wani abun a hanya”. Ni dai na rabu dashi a raina ina cewa lallai gata mugun abu. Na tuno Sadauki da rashin zamansa a guri daya, tun yana dan karamin sa Baffa ya nuna masa neman kudi. Sai nayi murmushi ina lissafin irin kudin da Sadauki zai tara in dai ya samu hanya. Ban kuma tabbatar wa cewa Alhaji Babba ya fada kwata ba sai da muka je gidan few days after that. Mota daya ce a compound din, ita ma kuma daga ganin ta nasan an dade ba’a hau ta ba, komai babu, ni sai naga gidan kamar har wani duhu yayi. Shi kansa ya rame, kayan jikinsa sun tsufa, na gaishe shi ya amsa yana ta yake baki. Muka shiga cikin gida suna ta kallon cikina, Hajiya Babba har da yar min da magana wai da Inna ta hanani komawa bayan ni ina son mijina, ni dai bance mata komai ba. Itama naga dakinta yar aiki daya ce kawai kuma itama na tabbatar yan uwanta ne suka dauko mata. Hajiya Yalwati kam Allah ya taimake ta ƴaƴanta manya su uku sunyi nce sun fara teaching dan haka su suke daukan nauyinta da kannen su. Da zamu tafi su murja suka ce zasu bi mu amma Saghir ya rufe idonsa yace babu wadda zai dauka. Sai da muka dauki hanya ne yake cewa wai nauyi zasu dora masa in suka zo. Sai na tambayi kaina ‘ba shine namiji ba, babban wa uba? Bashi ya kamata ya dauki nauyin kannensa ba amma shine mai gudun ciyar dasu na kwana biyu?”1 Bayan munje gida yake gaya min “Alhaji ya hada ni da wani abokin sa shi kuma ya hada ni da wani mutum daya bude kamfanin siyar da motoci kwanan nan. Gobe zanje interview kiyi mana addu’a. Idan aikin nan ya fada ko? Hmmmm, ba karamin kudi suke dashi ba a gurin nan kuma kinsan accounting na karanta harkar kudin” ni dai nayi addu’a amma bansa ka rai ba saboda bansa ran zai samu aiki irin haka da wuri ba. And to me surprise, sai gashi washegari da offer. “I nailed it. Diyam, I got it. Wato managern ne da kansa ya ganni, karamin yaro ne mai babbar harka. Kawai few personal questions yayi min shikenan yace ‘you are hired’ just like that fa, Diyam you are talking to the financial secretary of Abatcha Motors”