DIYAM CHAPTER 18

DIYAM CHAPTER 18

A hankali nake tafiya, enjoying my own company, feeling as free as a bird. Wannan feeling din da banji ba lokacin da Saghir yayi min sakin farko sai yanzu nake jinsa. Nayi murmushin da ya shiga har cikin zuciyata sannan a hankali na fara tariyo rayuwar auren mu da Saghir a kaina.1 Shi dai Saghir, babban abinda yayi dooming rayuwar sa har ya kai shi ga stage din da yake ciki a yanzu shine rashin tarbiyya. Makauniyar soyayyar da iyayensa suka nuna masa tun yana jariri ita ce silar komai. Sai ya taso a matsayin sangartacce, mai son kansa kuma marar yawo saboda bai san yadda zaiyi ya kula da kannasa ba kwata kwata ballantana har ya kula wani, that including su kansu iyayen nasa. Rashin yawon sa shine ya bawa Sadauki da kuma Kabir damar kai shi inda yake a yanzu.1 Na tuno ranar daya ce min bararoji a palon Hajiya, na tuno sanda ya shigo daki a gaban Inna yace baya sona, na tuno abinda ya faru a first night din mu da kuma abinda ya biyo baya, na tuno haihuwar twins, zama na a gida da kuma komawa ta gidansa. Inda ace zan zauna zan iya lissafa sau nawa muka yi magana ni shi inus our first year of marriage. Har zuwa haihuwar Subay’a bata chanja zani ba. Na tuno da yawan comments din da yake yi akaina cewa bani da body parts din daya ke so a gurin mace, year after year, then suddenly lokaci daya ya chanja after ya gama gasa ni for about seven years sai kuma ya dawo yana bani kulawa always commenting on my beauty and the so called body parts din daya ke so wadanda a lokacin na fara developing dinsu. A duk lokacin da naga yana wannan care da comments din nasan inda maganar zata kare, his bed. I remember yadda yake yawan comment cewa I tasted different than sauran matan da yake sharing bed dinsa dasu. And then he said he loves me.+ But that got me thinking, it that really love? I mean zaka iya cutar da wanda kake so? Ka dake shi ka aibatashi a gaban mutane ka aibata iyayensa masu rai da marasa rai sannan kace ‘you are really beautiful’ ka ja shi zuwa gadonka? It that love or something else? Duk wanda yace baya sonka, ya wulakanta ka a lokacin da baka da physical appearance din daya ke so, sai daga baya kuma daka samu sannan yazo yake kulaka, to me that is not love, that is lust.4 Nasan so kuma I don’t think I can hurt wanda nake so intentionally. Ko a gurin da ake aibata shima ba zan iya zama ba ballantana ni inyi da kaina. In na bata masa ransa kuwa to tabbas akan wani abu ne da nasan is for his own good. Kamar abinda na kudurce a raina cewa ina so yayi.1 A tsakar gida na tarar da Inna da Asma’u suna ta gyaran gida saboda tashin su Maman Iman shekaran jiya. Na gaida ta sannan na mika mata takardar da Saghir ya bani na shige daki, ina jinta ta saka Asma’u ta karanta mata. Sai na zauna a gaban kujerar da Subay’a take kwance a kai ina kallonta a raina ina lissafin whats next a rayuwar mu ni da ita, Allah ne kadai masani amma ni nasan zanyi duk abinda ya kamata inyi a matsayi na na uwa dan ganin cewa ta samu farin ciki koda kuwa hakan yana nufin yin gibi ga nawa farin cikin. The first thing da zanyi shine in mayar da ita school, already tayi missing term guda gashi har anyi hutu ana shirin komawa sabon session. Dan haka na yanke shawarar nema mata school a arear gidan mu in saka ta wadda nasan Inna zata iya biya dan ni koboless nake a yanzu, hatta kudin recharge card ma bani akeyi. Inna ta shigo ta zauna tana kallona da takardar a hannunta tace “na kira Hajiya Yalwati na gaya mata, nace ta gaya wa su Alhaji” na gyada kai kawai, sai kuma tace “Allah yasa hakan shi yafi miki alkhairi Allah kuma yasa karshen wahalar ki kenan” nace “ameen Inna. Nagode”. Washegari da wuri Asma’u ta fita saboda tana ta harkar neman admission, ina jinsu suna waya da yayanta da sassafe a raina nace “kaga masu business trip”. Bayan ta fita nima na fita naje nayi mana register ni da Subay’a a islamiyyar bayan layin mu wadda ake yi safe da yamma. Sai a lokacin nayi dana sani dana yi jamb din nima maybe da yanzu nima ina neman admission din amma yanzu ya wuce ni sai next year. Bayan na dawo ne na tarar da bakuwa a palo tana jirana. Fauziyya. Sai naga duk ta chanja duk babu gayun nan, ga hijab a jiki, the first time da naga Fauziyya da hijab. Daga yanayin fuskarta na gane itama ta karbo tata takardar sai na maze muka gaisa tana ta yiwa Subay’a wasa, ni kuma sai na kira Subay’a na aike ta gurin Inna dan yanzu sam bana son yin hira a gabanta. STORY CONTINUES BELOW Sai Fauziyya ta miko min wata takarda tace “kinga Halima” na karba na bude a raina ina saka ran ganin irin tawa takardar amma sai naga report ne daga asibiti da yake nuna cewa Fauziyya tana dauke da juna biyu. Na ninke na mika mata ina kokarin kakalo murmushi nace “well congratulations” sai ta fara share hawaye tace “zubar wa zanje inyi Halima. Ya zanyi dashi? Na gaya miki nayi aure ne saboda ina son inyi settling down a gidan miji, wannan cikin would have been a good news da ace abinda ya faru bai faru ba, yanzu ta yaya zanyi inyi raising baby alone babu miji babu mataimaki? Kinsan iyayena basu da rai, kuma yanzu ba kowa ne zai aure ni da baby ba, Saghir kuma….” Sai ta rufe fuskarta tana kuka, na taso na dawo kusa da ita ina rarrashinta tace “jiya da yamma naje ganinsa, ya bani takarda wai ya sake ni saboda bashi da ranar fitowa. Bai ma san da cikin ba ban gaya masa ba saboda so nake in zubar dashi” nace “to yanzu ni me yasa kike gaya min? Ba kya ganin cewa kina gaya min ne saboda deep down ba kya son zubarwar kina so wani ya baki shawara yace kar ki zubar?” Ta dago kai tana kallona sai ta gyada kai tace “haka ne, ina son baby na amma ya zanyi” nace “ni ba gashi yanzu an barni da Subay’a ba? Ke da kinyi karatu, ni fa secondary school kadai na gama da kyar, ba zaki iya ki nemi aiki da takardun ki ba ko dan teaching ne ko da private school ce ki ke yi kina samun kudin da zaki rike kanki da abinda Allah ya baki ba? Ni ina ganin in dai ba gani kikayi zaki takura ba to gwara ki ajiye batun aure a side ki samu abinyi first, in mijin yazo along the way shikenan, who knows? Maybe kiga Saghir ya fito nan bada dadewa ba” sai naga hope yazo fuskarta tace “da gaske? Zaki taimaka masa?” Na gyada kai nace “zanyi iyakacin kokari na, amma babu guarantee. Sai dai ina so kiyi min alkawarin ba zaki zubar da cikin ba” ta gyada kai da sauri tace “na fasa zubarwa insha Allah. Allah kuma ya baki sa’a akan abinda kika saka a gaba”. Mun jima muna hira sannan na raka ta bakin hanya ta tafi.1 Kwana biyu bayan nan da sassafe ina bacci naji ana ta haya niya a tsakar gida, na leko ta window sai naga ma’aikata ne suke ta shigo da kayan gini, na tashi na fito palo na gaishe da Inna na tambayeta “aikin menene za’ayi a gidan nan?” Sai tace “can dakunan za’a gyara sai a zuba kayanki da aka kwaso” ban wani damu da aikin ba da yamma zan tafi islamiyya na leka naga kusan sabo ake mayar da gurin. Hatta plaster da floor an kankare ana sake wasu, an cire ceiling da electric wiring duk za’a sake sai na dawo gurin Inna nace “wannan aikin Inna a ina aka samu kudin yinsa haka?” Bata kalle ni ba tace “matse bakina sai in gaya miki” ban sake cewa komai ba na juya na fita. Washegari da safe aka sauke katangar da akayi a tsakiyar gidan mu ya koma kamar yadda yake ada. Kwana biyu ana aikin aka mayar da tsofaffin dakunan inna tamkar brand new dan in ba sanin su kayi ba ba zaka gane suba. Maimakon inga an kawo kayana da aka debo daga gidan Saghir sai naga ana shigo da wadansu kayan wadanda ko a ido ka kalla kasan ba class dinsu daya da wadancan nawan ba. Sai na sake komawa gurin Inna “Inna ina wadancan kayan da aka dauko?” Bata kalle ni va tace “na siyar dasu na kara jari” sai na mayar da bakina na rufe. Asma’u tana shigowa na jata gefe daya yadda Inna ba zata jiyo ba na fara zazzaga mata masifa “ke ce kika ce da mutumin can ya gyara mana gida?” Ta daga kafada “wanne mutumin kuma?” Nace “kar ki raina min hankali kinsan wanda nake nufi ai” tace “the last time I checked shima gidan su ne. Menene laifi a ciki dan na gaya masa masu haya sun tashi za’a zuba kayanki a ciki shine yace a bari azo a gyara gurin tukunna. Daga nan kuma sai ga kaya ya aiko dasu a zuba” na bita da harara nace “kice masa……” Tace “ince masa an gode? To zan gaya masa” sai na dauki katako kamar zan dake ta ita kuma ta fice da gudu. Wasa wasa ana gama wa da dakunan inna nada muka koma ciki muka tare. Inna da Asma’u daki daya ni da Subay’a daki daya. Na dauko akwatunan kayan sawar mu da muka debo daga gidan Saghir na jera mana abin mu. Subay’a tana ta murna wai munyi sabon gida. “In Daddy ya dawo anan zamu zauna tare dashi”. Daganan kuma aka fara gyaran dakunan Baffa. Aka gyare su tas suma aka saka sababbin furnitures aka barsu a matsayin gurin saukar baki. Inna tayi ta gayyatar yan uwa su zo suga sabon guri, kowa yazo ya gani yayi ta sam barka. Lokacin ne Adda zubaida itama tazo dai ta jani gefe tace “Alhaji ne ya turo ni gurinki. Yace inyi miki godiya sosai akan irin kokarin da kika yi tayi a lokacin shari’ar Saghir. Allah yayi miki albarka Allah ya bar zumunci kuma Allah yaji kan baffanku” nace “ameen. Shi kuma Allah ya fito dashi” “hmmmm” kawai tace, sannan tace “ki samu lokaci kije ki dubo alhajin” nace “to”. Sai kuma na kawo mata shawarar da nake ta sakawa a raina tuntuni nace “Adda, a shawarce ku manyan mu tare da Aunty Fatima dasu Inna ku ya kamata ku shiga cikin maganar Alhaji da Kawu. Ya kamata su daidaita haka nan tunda wanda ake rigimar a kansa ma yana can a rufe” tace “zasu daidaita ne, amma ba nan kusa ba kinsan cikin suwaiba ya ki fita har yau, shegen jika za’a ajiye musu, yarinyar ma an kaita Kollere a can zata haihu” na dafe kaina ina jin babu dadi, ina taisayawa yarinyar nan wallahi Saghir ya shafa mata bakin fenti marar goguwa. Yanzu dai yaya biyu za’a haifawa Saghir kenan. Sai na bata labarin cikin jikin Fauziyya, ta rike baki tace “to ai kuwa bana jin mutan gida sun sani”. Duk wannan abinda ake yi shi oga mai gyaran gida ko keyarsa ban gani ba. Ban san ko ya dawo daga so called tafiyar ba ko kuma bai dawo ba. Amma kusan kullum ina jinsu suna waya shida kanwarsa kuma nasan suna gulmata dan sai inga ana maganar ana kallona ana dariya. In naga haka sai in tashi in bar gurin. A haka har akayi resuming school. Nayi wa inna maganar Subay’a sai tace in bincika makaranta mai kyau sai na gaya mata har na bincika ma na samu wata anan kusa damu wadda zata iya zuwa da kanta. Sai tace da safe in je inji fee dinsu da sauran abubuwa. Amma da safen ina tashi sai naga Asma’u ta tashi itama tana shiryawa nace ina zata je wai “hamma yace in shirya in shirya Subay’a zai zo da wuri muje a sata a school” cikin fada nace “oh dama yana gari kenan. In shi ya haifar min yar ba sai yazo ya dauke ta ba in gani” sai naga duk sun tsaya suna kallona sannan na fahimci nayi rashin kunya a naganar. Nace “amma inna sai ya fara gaya min ai ko? Kulawa ma ai yabawa ce” Asma’u tace “yace ai fushi kike yi dashi. Wai in yayi miki magana ma ba zaki kula shi ba” nace “ya gwada ya gani? Ni ina na ganshi ma balle inki kula shi?” Sai tace “to ki shirya sai kuje tare ku kaita” na tashi nace “bazanje ba ai bai gayyace ni ba”.1 Ina kallo suka fita, sun jima sannan suka dawo Subay’a tana ta bata rai amma suna zama sai ta fara bani labarin sabuwar makarantar ta, ta nuna min uniform dinta da books din da already aka riga aka bata. Gobe zata fara zuwa fresh. Sai kuma naji dadin kula Subay’a da yayi har ya tuna cewa sabon session za’a shiga ya kamata sata a school. Daganan kuma sai ya ajire driver wanda kullum yake zuwa ya kaita school sannan in an tashi ya dauko ta.3 Asma’u ta samu admission a northwest university ta fara karatu. A lokacin ne nima na gayawa Inna kudirina na shiga computer school kafin shekara ta zagayo in nemi admission, harda karawa da cewa “irin wadda Sadauki yayi lokacin da baici jamb ba” wai duk dan ta bari saboda naga yanzu shine favorite person dinta. Amma sai ta tabe baki tace “wato ke lissafin karatu ma kike yi kenan, auren kuma fa?” Naji kamar zan saka kuka nace “aure kuma Inna? wanne irin aure dan Allah dan Annabi?” Sai tace “au baki san wanne irin aure ba? Ai kin kusa gama idda zaki sani a lokacin” kamar ta fada da bakin mala’iku kuwa a ranar sai ga third period dina tazo. Ina cikin saka pad a daki sai gata ta shigo ta kalleni tace “to alhamdulillah!” sai naji duk kunya ta rufe ni. A raina nace “shin wai Inna auren dole zata sake yi min ne?”2 A ranar na shirya nace gidan Mama zan tafi in kwana biyu, amma inna ta hana ni tace “islamiyyar fa?” Haka naja jakata na mayar daki na dawo palo na cigaba da zama. Two weeks bayan nan, ina zaune zaman kallo zaman kashe wando kamar kullum sai jin muryar Sadauki nayi a tsakar gida yana tsokanar Subay’a da sunan da yake gaya mata “Subis” sai na mike da sauri har da dan guduna na shige daki na rufo kofa. Sound proof ne dan haka bana jiyo mai suke yi a palon sai daga baya Subay’a ta shigo ta turo baki, ta zauna a gefe na tace “wannan yayan naki ne yazo” nace “kin gaishe shi?” Ta gyada kai.8 Dan rashin ta ido sai ganin kiran sa nayi a waya ta. Na kalli wayar a raina nace “lallai ma Sadaukin nan” ina kallon wayar wannan kiran ya shigo ya katse wani ma ya shigo har ya gaji ya daina. Sai na dauki wayar ina kallon number din. Finally dai anyi unblocking dina kenan. Ya kamata dai inyi saving number din nan, amma wanne suna zan saka masa? Sadauki? Ko hamma kamar yadda naga Asma’u ta saka? Sai kawai na bude keyboard dina nayi typing “Aliyu” nayi saving. Asma’u ta budo kofa ta shigo tun kafin tayi magana nasan me zata ce “ki zo inji Inna” na dauki hijab dina na saka na fita. Yana zaune can carpet a gefen kujerar da Inna take zaune, an cika masa gabansa da kayan ciye ciye, yayi kwalliyarsa cikin normal kananan kayansa. Nayi saurin dauke kaina daga kansa saboda zuciyata da naji tana kokarin barin kirjina. Na zagaya naje na zauna can nesa dasu nace “Inna gani” tace “baki ji Sadauki yazo ba? Ai dai kya fito ki gaishe shi ko?” Na kalleshi muka hada ido, har da wani langwabar da kai kamar wani abin tausayi. Na dauke kaina nace “sannu da zuwa” yace “yauwa. Ya gida ya makarantar?” Asma’u ta fara bashi labarin school dinsu, yana ta tsokanar ta wai jambite ni dai sai na mike zan bar musu gurin sai yayi sauri ya tashi yace “Inna zan wuce, Allah ya bamu alkhairi” tace “ameen, Allah yayi albarka” sai da ya je bakin kofa sai ya juyo yana shafa kai “ammm, Diyam. Akwai sakon Subay’a a mota ko zaki zo ki karba” nace “Asma’u, bi shi ki karbo mata” sai ta mike tayi hanyar daki tana waka “you know I love it when you call me senorita” ta shige daki ta rufo kofa. Na cigaba da zama na shi kuma yana tsaye a bakin kofa yana kallona sai kawai gani nayi Inna da dauko mafici tayo kaina dashi sai na tashi da sauri na fita.2 A garage na same shi a tsaye yana dariya. Na hade rai nace “ina sakon?” Yace “yanzu ke baiwar Allah sai Inna ta biyo ki da mafici sannan zaki zo gurina?” Nace “akwai sakon da zan karba ko babu?” Ya jingina a bango ya rungume hannayensa yace “babu, just want to see you, that’s all” nayi shiru, trying so hard not to look at him, yace “ba kya son gani na yanzu ko?”Na dauke kaina gefe nace “tunda babu sakon da zaka bani, Allah ya bamu alkhairi” na juya zan tafi sai ya zagayo ta gabana ya tsaya yace “look into my eyes and tell me ba kya son ganina and I promise you I will leave you alone” na daga ido na kalle shi amma muna hada ido sai nayi saurin sunkuyar da nawa idon kasa saboda wani zazzafan sako daya iso gare ni daga cikin idanunsa, sai na jawo fuskar hijab dina na rufe fuskata dashi, amma ina ganin duhunsa, sai naga ya sunkuyo dai dai fuskata yace murya can kasa “open your eyes and look into my eyes kice ‘sadauki bana son in sake ganin ka” sai na juya fuskata daya side din nace “ka bani hanya in wuce, ko ka manta na baro ƴata a daki ita kadai? And she needs me saboda babanta bayanan yana prison” sai ya gyara tsayuwar sa yace “hmmm. Gori zaki yi min kenan ko? Wai ‘ƴata'” ya fada yana kwaikwayon magana ta. Bance komai ba sai kuma yace “Subay’a will be fine, nayi miki wannan alkawarin. Na san ba zan taba replacing mahaifinta ba, amma zanyi duk iya kacin kokari na inga na bata duk abinda ya kamata uba ya bawa yarsa. Kar ki manta ina da training din rikon ɗan wani. Ban tashi da ubana ba duk kuwa da cewa yana raye, and still I have gotten the best fatherly care and love” Na fahimci zancen Baffa yake, sai na bude fuskata ina kallonsa nace “hakane, amma banbancin ka da Subay’a shine shi Baffa bai rufe mahaifinka a prison ba sannan bai yi gidan gona a cikin gidan grandfather dinka ba. No child will ever forget that”. Ba tare dana kalleshi ba na wuce shi na koma ciki. Ina shiga na wuce Inna a palo na shiga daki ina jin zuciyata tana yi min zafi, haushin Sadauki nake ji kuma haushin kaina nake ji. Ji nake kamar wani dan karamin yaki akeyi tsakanin zuciyata da ƙwaƙwalwa ta ko wanne yana gaya min abinda zanyi. Sai na sake jawo jakata na kuma hada kayana kamar rannan na fita na samu Inna a dakinta tana sallah sai na zauna na jira ta sai data idar sannan ta juyo tana kallona, daga yanayin zaman da nayi tasan magana ce a bakina dan haka tace “ya akayi?” Nace “Inna, alfarma nake nema a gurin ki. Dan Allah Inna ina so ki fita daga maganar Sadauki” ta kalle ni da mamaki tace “ban gane ba? In fita daga maganar sa kamar yaya? Wacce maganar kenan?” Sai nayi shiru na kasa bata amsa sai tace “ba kya sonsa ne yanzu kuma?” Na girgiza kaina nace “kawai dai Inna ina son ajiye maganar sa a gefe sai zuwa lokacin da muka sake fahimtar juna tukunna. Kinga shekaru da yawa, abubuwa da yawa sun chanja. Ba lallai ne halayyar sa ta da ita ce a yanzu ba. Ni so nake ki bar mu ni da shi kiyi ta mana addu’a in Allah yasa muka fahimci juna sai mu sanar muku ku saka mana albarka” a juya kanta gefe tace “fushi kike dashi akan maganar Saghir ko?” Nayi shiru, sai ta cigaba “ruwansa ne in yaga dama ya yafe masa, ruwansa ne kuma in bai ga dama ba kuma yaki. Ni ba wai ina matsa miki ki kula shi ko ki aure shiba, ina kokarin gyara abinda na bata ne a baya, ina kokarin bashi abinda na hana shine a baya tare da fatan ko hakan zai rage min laifuffuka na a gurinsa da kuma a gurin ubangiji. Dan haka ni dai shi nake so ki aura, amma zabi yana gurinki in kince a’a bazan ji dadi ba amma ba zan matsa miki ba”.1 Nace “Nagode Inna” sai kuma na gabatar mata da bukata ta tason zuwa gidan Mama. “Kwana biyu” ta ce min, naso ta barni inyi sati ko ma sati biyu amma taki, haka na hakura na dauki kaya set biyu da safe na tafi tunda ina son zuwan saboda ina so muyi shawara. Ina zuwa na tarar Rumaisa tazo, na saka ta a gaba da tsokana mai ciki mai ciki ita kuma tana ta jin kunyar Mama, sai da muka kebe tace “wai dama haka ake ji in ana da ciki?” Hmmm kawai nace mata a raina ina cewa wannan kukan dadi take yi, na tuna cikin twins ina 14 years, babu abinda na sani, ga babu miji babu iyaye. Na tuna cikin Subay’a yadda na sha wahalar laulayi, da gorin da Saghir yayi min wai daga an taba ni sai ciki. Sai da muka samu zama sannan na bawa Mama labarin cewa Sadauki fa ya dawo, bai dai furta direct ba amma ya nuna. Ta daga kafada tace “so? Ji nake murna zakiyi kuma naga kin bata rai” sai na gaya mata kuduri na akansa. “Ba wai bana son aurensa bane ba Mama, so nake ya kunce kullin da yayi da kansa, saboda jin dadin kansa kuma Subay’a” tace “so kike ya yafewa Saghir kudin da yake binsa?” Na girgiza kai nace “ba wannan kadai ba, so nake ya taimaka masa yayi solving drug case dinsa. Sadauki yana da power, zai iya jan wasu strings ayi closing case din Saghir na drugs, ko kuma ayi tracking Kabir a kama shi asaka shi ya amsa laifinsa. Bayan ya fito dashi kuma ina so ya bashi aikin yi, saboda nasan with that reputation babu ma’aikatar da zasu dauki Saghir aiki ballantana ya samu abinda zai rike yayansa”. Mama tace “anya kuwa Diyam wadannan sharadan naki basuyi tsauri ba? Wane ne zai je neman auren mace kuma tace masa sai ya fito da tsohon mijinta daga prison kuma ya bashi aiki? Anya kuwa kina ganin zai amsa?” Na girgiza kaina nace “ban sani ba Mama, shine kuma shawarar da nake so ki bani yadda zan saka Sadauki ya karbi wannan maganar. Ni dai abinda na sani shine zuciyar Sadauki tayi tauri da yawa, ya kasa yafewa wadanda yake ganin sun cutar dani da shi. Kuma nasan gurin Sadauki Saghir yafi kowa baƙi, shi yasa nake so ya yafe masa kuma ya taimaka masa. Nasan in dai har ya iya yafewa Saghir to babu wanda ba zai yafewa ba, in dai har ya taimaka wa Saghir to babu wanda ba zai taimaka wa ba”.3 STORY CONTINUES BELOW Mama tayi shiru tana kallona sannan tace “zuciyarsa tana da tauri tabbas, ke ai kinsan haka tun kuna yara haka yake kuma sai rayuwa ta kara taurara shi. To ni a shawara ta ba juya masa baya zaki yi ba jawo shi kijinki zakiyi. Ki nuna masa irin son da kike masa ki bashi dama ya nuna miki nasa, to shi kansa ba zai san sanda zuciyar tasa zata rissina ba, abinda zaiyi ke kanki sai ya baki mamaki”. Kwana na biyu gidan Mama na shirya zan koma gida Inna ta kirani. “Sadauki yazo dazu, na gaya masa kina nan gidan yau zaki dawo sai yace zai zo ya dauko ki” nace “to” a raina ina jin haushin mai yasa ba zai kira ni ya gaya min ba. Sai bayan magrib sannan yazo, har na gaji da jira na kwanta a palo ina game a wayata sai ga kiransa “Aliyu” nayi tsaki sai kuma nayi murmushi na daga nayi sallama, ya amsa yace “na dauka ba zaki dauki wayar bama ai. Kin san ni yanzu tsoran ki nake ji fa” nace “naga alama kam. Amma ai ba yanzu ne ka fara tsoran nawa ba dama ka dade kana yi” sai yayi dariya, and I couldn’t remember the last time da yayi dariya irin haka. Nima sai nayi murmushi. Yace “ina waje, Please kar kice da Mama ni nazo dan kunyarta nake ji” na tashi na shiga dakin Mama zan mata sallama tace “da daren nan” sai na sunkuyar da kaina nace “Sadauki ne yazo zamu tafi tare” tace “kuma babu gaisuwa? Ki ce masa ya shigo mana” na dauki waya na kira na gaya masa yace “ke ba’a sirri dake? Ban taba zuwa na gaishe ta ba sai kuma in zo in fitar mata da ƴa? Ni kunyar ta nake ji” nace “to ai in bance kai ne ba ba zata barni ba cewa zata yi dare yayi” a dolen sa ya shigo, yana ta sunkuyar da kai yana shafa keya, and I asked myself “wai me yasa maza in suna jin kunya suke shafa keyar su?”.4 Bayan ya fita nayi wa Mama sallama na bishi a baya. A cikin mota na same shi a zaune a seat din driver. Sai ya bude min kofar gaba yayi min alamar in shigo da hannunsa. Na shiga na rufo kofar sai ya juyo yana kallo na, na sunkuyar da kaina kasa ina feeling uncomfortable. Motar naga kamar tayi mana kadan, space din tsakanin mu yayi kadan, ga motar ta cika da kamshinsa mai shiga har cikin ruhi. Sannan kuma gashi yana min murmushi. Naji kamar in bude motar in fice. Bai kunna motar ba ya juyo yana kallona Yace “wai ke duk fushin ne haka? Me zanyi ne wai ayi min murmushi ko guda daya ne” sai na kara bata rai na turo baki yace “okay rashin kunyar tana nan ashe kenan. Na dauka an barwa Subay’a” sai ya tayar da motar muka bar gidan. A hanya yace “kinsa naji kunyar Mama fa, banzo na gaishe ta ba sai da nazo zance” na kalle shi nace “zance? Gurin wa kaje zancen? A kano muke fa ba’a Maiduguri ba” ya dan bata rai kamar mai tunani sai kuma yayi dariya yace “ohhh okay, yanzu na gane wannan fushin na menene. Ai na gaya mata zan zo gurinki dama kuma tace in gaishe ki” nace “kar ma kayi tunanin da nake tunanin kana yi. It is not what you are thinking” yace “yes it is. Hausawa sunyi karin magana suka ce kishi kumallon mata, amma ke naki kishin aman gaskiya yake saka ki. Daga jin muna magana da Inna sai ki kama amai?” Na gane maganar da yake yi nayi saurin cewa “ba fa abinda kake tunani bane ba, bani da lafiya dama a lokacin. To ni ina ma ruwa na da aurenka” yace “okay idan rashin lafiya ta saki amai ita ce kuma ta saka daga nayi miki sannu kika rufe ni da fada?” Nace “kaga nifa bana son ake juya min magana ta” yace “shikenan, an daina” muka cigaba da tafiya sannan yace “na bata labarin ki. I told her ina son aurenki first and she agreed” ya fada yana kallona, nayi kamar ban jishi ba ina jin bacin raina yana karuwa, amma sai ya sake cewa “tana sonki sosai. Tace zata zo Nigeria karshen week din nan purposely saboda ta ganki” na saka hannuna na toshe kunnuwa na ina jin zaman motar duk ya ishe ni. Nace “stop the car” yace “why?” Nace “ko dai ka daina wannan maganar ko kuma ka tsayar da motar nan in fita in karasa a kafa” sai ya kama dariya yace “an daina your highness”.1 Muna zuwa gida nayi masa godiya, kafin in bude kofar ya kira suna na “Diyam” na juyo ina kallonsa yace “Please in na kira ki ki dauka kinji. Say whatever you want to say in kin dauka din but please kar ki ƙi dauka”. Ranar na jima banyi bacci ba ina juyi. Feeling a familiar warmth a cikin zuriya ta wanda a da naje tunanin ko ba gushe yanzu baya nan. Zuciyata da ƙwaƙwalwa ta suka cigaba da battle dinsa ni kuma na zama confused dan bansan wanne daga cikin su zan bi ba. My heart was telling me in kira Sadauki a waya, in bude masa zuciyata in gaya masa irin zurfin da soyayyar sa tayi a ruhina, while my mind was asking me to hold on, reminding me cewa ba lallai ne in Sadauki ya samu abinda yake so ni kuma ya bani abinda nake so ba.6 Washegari da safe bayan na dawo daga islamiyya ya kirani, daga alama a office yake “kinci abinci? Me kika ci?” Nace “kosai Asma’u ta soya mana” yace “yan gayu. Ni kuma kinga yunwa nake ji babu wanda ya damu yace Sadauki ga abinci” nace “Sadauki ko Mr Abatcha?” Yayi dariya yace “all the same” nace “ni banga same ba. Sadaukin dana sani is different from this rich Mr Abatcha” yace “really? To fada min menene bambancin” nace “da farko dai Sadauki baya taba yin abinda zai bata ran Ummah ko Baffa. Ita kuwa Ummah a cikin masu hakuri ma ita daban Allah yayi ta, bata taba fada ballantana har ta kasa yafewa wadanda suka bata mata. Na tabbatar kuma zata so ace yayanta, ni da kai, munyi koyi da ita, ko da bamu zama irin ta ba sai mu kwatanta ko yaya ne” Ya jima shiru sannan yace “she was a good woman. The best. Bata bata wa kowa, in mutum ya bata mata ma sai tayi kamar bata gani ba duk kuwa da cewa ta gani ɗin. Har gida har daki za’a zo aci mutuncin ta ba tare data yi laifin komai ba and she will always looked at me and said “kar kayi magana, kar kace komai” and I will keep quiet. Amma ranar data mutu kinsan me Alhaji Babba yace? Cewa yayi ba za’a shigar da gawarta gidan mijinta ba as if she were some kind of trash” na goge hawayen daya taru a idona ina tuno wa da abinda ya faru a ranar data chanja gabaki dayan rayuwata.7 Nace “sai menene kuma? Hakan ai bai rage ta da komai ba a wajen ubangijin ta, kuma muna saka mata ran cewa yanzu tana gurin da yafi gidan nan kyau da daraja. Kuma nasan da ace zata kalle ka a yanzu zata ce “kar kayi magana, kar kace komai” saboda tana son ka zama mai hakuri mai yafiya irin wanda Allah yake so, Annabi kuma yake alfahari dasu” yace “nasan abinda kike so ki ce, so kike yi kice in yafe musu gabaki dayan su, amma abinda kika manta shine, su fa basu yi nadama ba har yau. Yes, Alhaji ya bani hakuri ranar nan amma daga ni har ke har shi munsan cewa tuban muzuru yayi, na saka shine a corner babu yadda zaiyi shi yasa ya bani hakuri amma a lokacin da yana da dama da ina juya bayana zai daɓa min wuka” Nace “na sani, amma wannan shi da ubangijin sa, ni da kai na damu ba dasu ba, zuciyarka nake fatan gyarawa and maybe a kokarin haka kaga tasu itama ta gyaru. Kasan abinda na fahimta? Babu abinda yafi saukarwa da mutum nadama irin idan wanda akayi wa sharri yayi sakayya da alkhairi. Take Inna as an example. Ba karamar nadama ce Inna tayi ba kuma a yanzu babu wanda take kaunar farantawa sama da kai” ya ajiye numfashi yace “kina so in yafe musu?” Nace “yes, amma badan ni zaka yafe ba. Dan Allah zaka yafe. Take your time and think over it. Kai da kanka zaka yanke shawarar yin abinda ya dace”. Sai ya chanja maganar “yanzu ya za’ayi a kawo min kosan nan zuwa office?” Kamar wasa few days bayan nan da daddare ina shirin kwanciya ya kira ni “me kike shirya wa bakuwar ki ne?” Nace “wacce bakuwar kuma?” Yace “kin manta nace akwai wadda zata zi gurinki?” Naji duk nishadin dana ke ji ya kau, nayi shiru yace “gobe zata sauka. Jirgin safe. Ni ina da meeting about that time. Ki shirya sai in turo miki da mota kije ki dauko ra a airport” nace “ni kuma? To ni da bansan ta ba ta yaya zan gane ta?” Yace “ki saka bakar doguwar riga ita kuma zata saka milk. You will know her when you see her” na hadiye abinda ya tsaya a kirjina nace “ya sunanta?” Yace “Murjanatu”.Da safe na gayawa Inna sakon Sadauki. Tace “to fa! Sai kije ki dauko ta din. Anan zata sauka ne ko kuma a wani gurin daban?” Nace “nima ban sani ba inna” sai tace “to ki kira shi ki tambayeshi mana, in nan zata sauka ai gwara mu sani dan ayi mata abinci ko?” Na kasa kiransa saboda ji nayi duk haushinsa nake ji, sai na tura masa text “a nan zata sauka?” Sai da na fito daga wanka naga reply dinsa, “bakuwar ki ce ba tawa ba. Besides, ni gwauro ne bani da gurin da zan sauke ta”. Karfe goma da rabi yace min jirgin su zai sauka. Karfe goma driver yazo yana jirana. Asma’u tana school Subay’a ma haka, dan haka dole na shirya ni kadai na fita ina ta bace bacen rai. Sai 10:30 muka je airport din a raina ina cewa ‘in sun sauka ma ta jira, da waye ya gayyace ta zuwa wajena?” Sai kuma nayi rashin sa’a jirginsu yayi delay dan haka sai da muka jira ma sannan suka sauka. Ina tsaye da bakar rigata da ya umarce ni in saka idona akan kofa ina ganin masu fitowa, mostly turawa ne maza da mata, sai few blacks suma kuma yawanci maza ne sai kuma wasu family da suka fito tare. Sannan na hango ta ta taho, tun daga nema na ganeta saboda kalar rigar jikinta. Waya a makale a kunnenta tana magana tana murmushin da yake bayyana hakoranta, naji kirjina ya buga da karfi a lokacin da zuciyata ta ayyana min wanda suke wayar dashi. Ta fito waje sosai tana dan dube dube, idonta ya sauka a kaina sai naga ta sake fadada murmushin ta ta katse kiran sannan ta taho inda nake. I was suppose to like nima in tafi inda take sai mu hadu a hanya amma sai nayi tsayuwata pretending as if ban gane taba har ta karaso gaba na tana murmushi tace “Diyam?” Sai kuma na kirkiro murmushi nayi mata ina studying dinta. Baka ce, mai matsakaicin jiki kyakykyawar gaske and every part of her was screaming “I am rich” dan kallo daya zaka yi mata kasan cewa bata san wata kalma wai ita wahala ba. And something caught my attention, kalar skin dinta, manyan fararen idanuwanta, shape din fuskarta da kuma yanayin murmushin ta irin na Sadauki ne. Na tambayi kaina “are they related? Ko hadin gida za’ayi musu?”+ Na kirkiro murmushi nace “Murjanatu?” Sai tayi dariya, ta saka phone dinta a cikin karamar jakar da take rataye a kafadarta sannan sai kawai naga ta rungume ni, ta sake ni tana kara kallona tace “wow, you are even more beautiful in person than yadda aka kwatanta min ke” na danyi dariya ina tunanin tsaurin ido na Sadauki da zai zauna yayi wa budurwarsa description dina. Nace “welcome to kano, fatan dai baki sha wahala sosai ba” ta yarfe hannu tace “zafi, haka kullum in muka je Maiduguri nake fama. Kamar ace an ciro mutum daga cikin freezer ne an saka shi a cikin oven. Na kan tambayi Adama, wai haka kaji sukeji in ana gasa su? irin frozen chicken din nan kuma a saka su a oven” nayi dariya a raina ina cewa wannan surutu ne da ita. Drivern da muka zo dashi ya zo ya fara jan akwatin ta ni kuma sai na mika hannu da niyyar in karbi jakar hannunta amma sai taki bani tace “rufa min asiri, so kike yaya ya gasa ni kamar gyada?” Na maimaita kalmar yaya a raina. So they are related da gaske. Muna tafiya veil din kanta ya fado kafadarta ya bayyana gyararren gashin kanta, but sai naga bata damu data gyara ba har sai da ni da kaina na gyara mata. She just thank me casually muka cigaba da tafiya. A hanya muka dan taba hira, duk da dai da yawa daga hirar ita takeyi, a lokacin take gaya min cewa wannan ne zuwan ta kano na farko “in munzo Nigeria gida muke zuwa, Maiduguri, sai Abuja sometimes, mun dai taba zuwa Kaduna once” jin haka sai na fara yi mata bayanin guraren da muke wucewa a hanya, and she looked very interested. Da muka je gida ina kallonta ina jiran inga tayi wa gidan mu wani kallo haka, ko kuma in an bata abinci inji tayi wani comment marar kyau amma sai naga sam babu abinda ya dame ta, she is the most down to earth person I have ever met. Ta zauna ta harde kafa tana ta cin tarin abincin da Inna ta jera mata tana kuma yiwa Inna hira. Sai tace “ina ‘yar Asama? Kullum sai an bamu labarin Yar Asama da Diyam, Diyam this Diyam that. Ko kaya muka saka sai yace “ku kun mayar da kanku turawa, kuyi ta saka kananan kaya, why can’t you dress like Diyam?” Ta fada tana kwaikwayon yadda Sadauki yake maganar sa. STORY CONTINUES BELOW Na kai mata kayanta dakina sannan na hada mata ruwan wanka a toilet nace tayi wanka ta huta. Bata tashi ba sai da Asma’u ta dawo daga school, ina jin Inna tana yi mata bayanin bakuwar da akayi sai kuwa naga ta tura baki tana kunkuni, Inna tayi mata warning kar ta sake tayi mata wata magana marar dadi. Na shiga daki na tarar ta tashi daga bacci tana sallah, na zauna ina jira har ta idar sannan na tambayeta ko da akwai abinda take so. Kafin ta bani amsa Asma’u ta shigo tace “nazo gaishe da matar yayana” sai naga Murjanatu ta kalle ni sai ta cigaba da nineke abin sallah. Asma’u ta sake cewa “matar yaya barka da zuwa” sai Murjanatu ta kalle ni tace “ana miki magana” nace “ke take gaisarwa fa” sai tace “matar yaya naji tace, wanne yayan?” Na gyara zamana ina so inyi confirming suspicio dina Nace “Sadauki mana” ta dan bata fuska tace “waye Sadauki?” Na sunkuyar da kai nace “Aliyu, mu anan Sadauki muke ce masa” cikin mamaki tace “yaya Aliyu? Nice matar tasa kuma?” Nace “well, not legally yet, yace dai an bashi ke an kusa biki” sai ta zauna a bakin gado ta dafe kanta tana dariya tana kallona tace “tsokanar ki yake, he is my brother, my half brother, baban mu daya”. Har dare Murjanatu tana ta tsokana ta. Ina jinsu suna waya da Sadauki tana bashi labari suna dariya sai na harare ta daga ita har wayar tata, ina jinta ta gaya masa wai ina hararar ta sai naga ta saito ni da wayar kamar zata min hoto sai na rufe fuskata ita kuma tayi ta min hotuna a haka. Sosai Murjanatu ta sake a gidan mu, nan take muka kulla kawance mai kyau a tsakanin mu. Tana ta yimin hirar gidan su, Papa, Mama, Adama, Sa’adatu, Yani. Amma ban taba yi mata tambaya a kansu ba, na saka a raina cewa Sadauki ne ya kamata ya bani labarin su. Na fahimci kuma tana tsoron Sadauki, duk da kuwa na kanga suna yin waya suyi hira amma kamar bata taba ketare maganar sa, bata yi masa musu, kuma tana bani girma sosai saboda shi. Ranar nan bayan Murjanatu ta kwana uku da zuwa muna waya dashi tace gobe mu shirya gabaki daya zai zo mu fita yawo “mu zagaya da Fanna taga garin Kano” nace “Fanna?” Yace “yes, Murjanatu. We call her that a gida”. Ina gaya musu sai murna, nan da nan Asma’u ta fara making list na guraren da zamuje, aka fara ware kayan da za’a saka da irin kwalliyar da za’ayi. Murjanatu ta kalleni ina yi musu dariya tace “gobe sai na yi miki kwalliya. Asma’u zata rike min ke in kinki tsayawa”. Na dauka wasa suke sai washegarin na fito daga wanka sai gasu da make up kit, nace bana so amma haka suka tilasta min suka yi min kwalliya. Na dauko abaya ta na saka sai Murjanatu ta tsaya tana kallo na tace “wannan rigar is too loose, bai fitar da duk abinda ya kamata ya fitar ba bayan kuma akwai abin” sai ta dauko wani belt a kayanta ta daura min, na kalli kaina a mirror naga yadda hips dina suka fito sosai, ni kaina bansan ina dasu har haka ba, sai na girgiza kaina nace “bazan iya fita haka ba. Mutane zasu ke kallona fa” sai ta dan dake ni a kafada tace “dalla in sun kalle kin sai me kuma? Ke wallahi halin ku daya da yaya Aliyu yanzu zaku fara wa’azi” nayi dariya kawai amma na hakura ne kawai dan bana so in gwale ta amma ni nasan bazan iya sakewa ba sam. Muna gamawa yazo, muka fita ni dai ina ta rabe rabe a bayansu. Muna fita muka hango motarsa duk da bama ganinsa but I felt his eyes on me sai na kara buya a bayan Murjanatu ina jin kamar zan gurde in fadi har muka karaso inda yake, Murjanatu ta bude min kofar gaba tace “entere” nayi murmushi na shiga ina jin still idanuwansa a kaina amma na kasa kallon side din da yake, sai naji yayi gyaran murya yace da Murjanatu “koma ciki ki samo mata hijab” sai ta kama bubbuga kafa a kasa kamar mai shirin kuka sai yayi mata tsawa “are you still there?” Da sauri ta koma cikin gida. Nayi kasa da idona ina wasa da fingers dina, still feeling his eyes on me. Sai yace “kinyi kyau sosai Halima. But I can’t let people see you like this. Ina da kishi da yawa I might end up fasa wa wani hanci akan hanya. In son samu nane ma bayan hijab har nikab zaki saka ki rufe fuskarki” tunda ya fara magana nake murmushi, ina jin feeling mai dadi a raina cewa nima ina da value. Sai na tuno da ranar da Saghir yake fito min da gashina “let’s show them abinda matansu basu dashi”. STORY CONTINUES BELOW Ta kawo min hijab din na saka ya saka hannu ya gyara min fuskar hijab din sannan yace “that’s much better” sai kuma ya leka waje yace da Asma’u da Murjanatu “duk wadda bata shigo ba zamu tafi mu barta” da sauri suka bude baya suka shigo suna dariya. Yawo mukayi sosai a garin kano, har gidan sarki sai da muka je muka shiga ta kofar gudu muka fito ta kofar arewa muka ga grand central mosque. Muka je gidan mesium muka je gidan makama da gidan mutan da. Muka hau badala, muka hau dutsen dala da gwauron dutse. Muka je har government house muka yi zagaye a ciki muka fito sannan muka tafi Abatcha Motors. Murjanatu tace “yau dai finally zanga wannan precious Abatcha Motors din da yake rike yayana a Nigeria. Ko da yake ban sani ba ko ba shi kadai bane yake rike shi ba” ta fada tana mintsini na ta baya. Na juya na harare ta shi kuma yana mana dariya muka shiga building din. Da yake weekend ne duk babu ma’aikata sai security kamar zasu ci mutum. Muna zuwa suka taso kamar zasu durkusa mana ni dai duk sai naji inajin nauyin su. Ya saka su bude ko’ina a gurin sannan yace dasu Murjanatu su zagaya duk inda suke so mu kuma sai ya saka aka kawo mana kujeru gaban wani fountain muka zauna. Sannan ya dauko waya yayi kira, da alama abinci yayi mana order. Sai kuma yace min “ranar nan, you asked me some questions. Are you ready for the answers?” Na tuno tambayoyin da nayi masa farkon zuwa na office dinsa. Sai nace “eh. Ina son sani please”. Yace “okay. Let’s start from the beginning”. “Tun farko na san cewa Alhaji Bukar ne ya hada auren Ummah da mahaifina, amma bamu taba maganar dashi ba saboda ganin kamar umman bata so”. “Sunan mahaifina Alhaji Umar Mustapha Abatcha” nayi saurin cewa “Alhaji Umar Mustapha dai wanda muke jin labarin sa?” Ya gyada kai yace “shifa. Family din Mustapha Abatcha family ne da yayi suna ba’a Maiduguri ba kadai har ma da sauran Nigeriya. Suna da kudi tun asalinsu but kudin Umar Mustapha daban ne dana sauran. Tun yana saurayi ya mallaki kudin da shi kansa mahaifinsa a lokacin bashi da su. Harkar man fetur yakeyi yi, tun yana yin gidajen man fetur a gari gari har ta kai shi ga fara siyan rijiyoyin man fetur din gabaki ɗaya. Bashi da lokacin aure, dan haka ya jima baiyi ba, wannan yasa yan’uwansa, musamman da yake duk yan uba yake dasu dan shi kadai ne a gurin mahaifiyarsa, suka sako shi a gaba, suna saka ran in ya mutu suci kudi. A lokacin ne Alhaji Bukar, tsohon amininsa da sukayi secondary school tare yayi masa tayin auren bafulatanar yarinya Zainab. Shi kuma sai ya karba yana ganin tunda ba auren soyayya bane ba ba zata ke demanding time dinsa ba. Ta gaya masa labarin wanda take so aka raba su and he was sympathetic, yana nuna mata kulawa sosai ita kuma ta kwantar da hankalin ta sukayi zamansu lafiya a nan family house dinsu dake Maiduguri. A haka har ta samu ciki. A lokacin ne kuna ya fara business da Canada yana exporting crude oil daga Nigeria zuwa Canada wanda har yanzu shine sana’arsa, a yanzu yana daya daga cikin manyan dealers na crude oil a kasar Canada. Tunda zainabu ta samu ciki shikenan kuma sai al’amurra suka cabe mata, gashi lokacin baya zama a kasar ita kuma taji duk duniya babu inda ta tsana irin gidan aurenta, babu wanda bata son gani kamar mijinta, babu kuma abinda take son rabuwa dashi irin cikin jikinta. Ta zama kamar mahaukaciya, sai ta fita da gudu sai an bita ana kamota ana dawo da ita gida, wani lokacin kuma sai ta zauna tayi ta dukan cikin wai sai ta kashe abinda yake ciki. Alhaji Umar yana zuwa ya ganta a wannan halin yasan asiri ne dan haka ya hada malamai aka zauna addu’a da magungunan karya sihiri akayi tayi mata, in abun ya lafa kwana biyu sai ya dawo. Ta sha wahala sosai. Ranar nan cikin dare suna bacci ta tashi tafita ko dan kwali babu ta kama doguwar katangar gidan da aka zagaye da waya da kwalabe amma a haka ta haura ta var gidan cikin jinin ciwuwwukan da taji, Alhaji Umar yana tashi yaga bata nan ya fito yayi ta nema babu wanda ya ganta sai ya dauki mota ya fita hankali a tashe. Cikin ikon Allah sai ya samo ta tana ta tafiya kamar zautacciya a kamata da kyar ya saka a mota daga nan sai airport. A can ya samu yayi mata adduoin ta dawo hankalinta ya sako ta a jirgi ta taho Kano ya kira Alhaji Bukar ya gaya masa, shi kuma sai ya koma ya nuna cewa bai same ta ba. Akayi ta nema har da cigiya a gidajen radio daga baya aka hakura. STORY CONTINUES BELOW Ita kuma ta dawo gurin yaya ladi ta zauna a kano. Har ta samu lafiya sosai aka tabbatar duk sihirin dake jikinta ya fita. Anan ta haife ni, Alhaji Umar yazo da kansa yayi min huduba da suna Aliyu “saboda ka zama jarumi ya sa na saka maka Aliyu” daga nan sai ya datse igiyar aurensa da zainabu, ya kuma roki Alhaji Bukar cewa ya nemo wannan wanda take so din yayi kokarin hada su aure, bayan an samo Baffa kuma Alhaji Umar da kansa ya bashi amana ta. “Dan Allah ka rike shi tamkar kai ka haife shi. Ɗa na kowa ne ai, wata kila ma kai zaiyiwa rana bani ba. Ni dai kawai ina son shi da mahaifiyarsa su kasance safe”. Through all those years da nake gurin Baffa ashe duk Alhaji Umar yana biye da rayuwata, kuma yace ko da sau daya Baffa bai taba neman wani taimako daga gare shi ba. To bayan rasuwar Umma da Baffa, bayan na koma gidan Alhaji Bukar, sai yake gaya min cewa ya gaya wa mahaifina zancen rasuwar, amma baya kasar a lokacin yasan da zaizo gaisuwa ma amma yace a gayamin in saka rana da kaina sanda na ke ganin am ready in gaya masa zaizo Nigeria sai mu hadu a Maiduguri. I fixed the date, sai muka tafi. But cikin rashin sa’a sai ya zamanto shi din wani abu yarike shi a can kasar da yake zaune, Canada, dan haka bai samu tahowa da wuri ba. Ban sami kowa a Maiduguri ba sai step grandmother dina a uncles dina. A lokacin ne kuma kika kirani da maganar za’a hada aurenki da Saghir. Nan take naso in yi musu dan karamin hauka a gidan na dage akan lallai sai an taho anzo Kano an nema min auren ki. Duk kallona suke kamar tababbe, irin suna ganin ban isa aure ba ai. Aka kira Papa aka gaya masa yace a rabu dani, wanne irin aure kuma? Sai na karbi wayar na gaya masa ko dai ya ajiye koma me takeyi yazo ya nema min aurenki ko kuma in kama gabana kuma babu wanda zai kuma jin labari na. Sai na gaya masa ko wa cece ke da dangantakar mu. Wannan ne ya ja hankalinsa. Sai ya bani hakuri akan cewa ba zai iya zuwa ba sai dai mu taho tare da Alhaji Babagana, daya daga cikin uncles dina. Muka taho din kuwa and you know what happened a gidan Alhaji Babba. Sanda muka fita I was beyond broken. Sai nace bazan koma Maiduguri ba, a gidan Alhaji Bukar zan zauna. Na zauna gidan Alhaji Bukar trying to find a solution amma na rasa ko daya, babu irin tunanin da banyi ba ciki kuwa har da in shirya mana visa tare zuwa Canada sai in dauke ki mu tafi can mu cigaba da rayuwar mu. But sai na tuno da kalaman Baffa da yake cewa ba yaso ya bani aurenki in dai babu amincewar Inna a ciki, nasan kuma yadda Inna bata sona in na dauke ki zata hada daga ni har ke ne ta tsine mana kuma ba zamu taba ganin dai dai ba a rayuwa. And I didn’t want to put you through that. Sai na fara bincike ta karkashin kasa, Alhaji Babagana ya bani kudi sosai kafin ya koma Maiduguri dan haka bani da matsalar kudi, I followed Alhaji Babba, I watched him a lokacin da ya siyar da garejin Baffa, I also watched him lokacin da ya siyar da filina, I watched him lokacin daya siya wa dansa gida na bishi har gidan na gani. But bayan ya tafi sai na tsaya ina studying gidan, bai yi min ba kwata kwata. Unguwar was deserted dan haka babu security kenan, ko menene zai samu mutum a gidan babu wanda zai sani. Na haura na shiga har cikin gidan sai naga locks din kofofin ba masu kyau bane sosai sai naje na siyo wasu na dawo na cire wadancan na saka sababbin da kaina. But still ban gamsu ba dan nasan wannan mijin naki ba lallai yake zama a gida bake kadai zai ke bari so I hired a gate man for you. Malam Iliyasu” na kalle shi da sauri nace “Malam Iliyasu dai maigadin gidan Saghir?” Yace “yes. Tsohon soja ne yana gadi anan kusa da gidan Alhaji Bukar to sai wanda yake yi wa gadin ya rasu. So I took him zuwa unguwar na nuna masa gidan, mukayi sa’a Saghir din yazo sai na nuna masa shi nace yaje ya nuna masa cewa gurin zama yake nema, yana son zaiyi masa gadi free of charge abinda yake so kawai a bashi dakin mai gadi ya zauna anan. And he took the bait. Nace yace masa free ne dan na fahimci babu yaren da Saghir yake ganewa sosai irin na kudi. So, Malam iliyasu yayi muku gadi, ni nake biyansa duk wata, in return shi kuma yana supplying dina with information musamman abinda ya shafi lafiyar ki” Ban bar kano ba sai da nayi attending daurin aurenku da Saghir. Daga nan airport na wuce straight na tafi Maiduguri ina zuwa kuma na tarar takarduna sun gama haduwa zuwa Canada dan haka kwana na daya a Maiduguri na tafi Ottawa, capital din Canada inda anan ne mahaifina yake zaune da iyalinsa. STORY CONTINUES BELOW I had been holding on, ina ta gayawa kaina cewa ba gaskiya bane ba, cewa ban rasa ki da gaske ba, but sai a jirgin nayi loosing din sauran hope dina. Gani nake yi na rabu dake kenan har abada and I couldn’t picture my life without you, gani nake babu wani sauran meaning a rayuwata. Daga airport maimakon gida sai asibiti aka wuce dani, ji nake kamar tsaga kirjina akeyi da wuka ana yankar zuciyata sala sala. Mahaifin da naci burin gani sai a asibiti na ganshi and the first thing da ya fada min shine “are you this weak? Do you really want to die saboda mace?” Nace “she is not just any woman. She is mine and they took her from me” yace “to me zakayi akai? Zaka kwanta ka mutu ne while tana can tana sabuwar rayuwa da wani ko kuma zaka tashi ka rayu and show them that abinda sukayi is wrong?” And I decided, maybe gwara in rayu din, maybe one day I will be able to see you again, and get you justice from whoever wrong you. But it was easier said than done. A watannin farko na aurenki I spent more time in hospital than at home. In ina gidan ma kuma ina daki a rufe. Bana kula kowa bana yi wa kowa magana. All I kept thinking about was you, you and you. Kullum tunani na a wanne hali kike ciki? Kinyi missing dina ko kuma kinyi accepting auren ki kin cigaba da rayuwarki da mijinki. Na kira Malam Iliyasu sai yake gaya min cewa Saghir yayi tafiya sai ke kadai a gidan tare da wata mata. And the agonizing months suka wuce, the most terrible times of my life. Ranar nan ina gida da rana kawai sai ga wayar Malam Iliyasu, nayi mamaki dan nasan cewa dare ne ku a wajenku na dauka sai naji cikin tashin hankali ya na gaya min wai baki da lafiya, shi yana ganin ma kamar kin mutu dan yaga maigidan ya dauko ki cikin jini ya saka ki a mota ya fita dake. Papa yana office dan haka message kawai na tura masa na dauki kudi da passport na tafi airport. Ban samu jirgi zuwa kano ba sai Abuja. Sai dana shiga Abuja sannan na samu wani zuwa kano ina shiga kano na kira Malam Iliyasu yace min shi bashi da wani labari tunda kuka fita shiru, sai na wuce gidan Alhaji Babba, na shiga har compound din gidan saboda yadda nake jin raina I was beyond caring akan me zai faru in aka ganni. Amma sai na tarar da gidan a hargitse, hankali na ya tashi and I asked wani mai kula da flowers sai yace min ai gobara ce Alhaji yayi duk shagunan sana’arsa sun kone kurmus babu abinda ya tsira dashi. Sai na tambayeshi game da matar Saghir, sai yace haihuwa ce kika yi amma yaran sun mutu, ke kuma an kaiki asibiti amma baisan wanne asibitin ba. Muna cikin magana Inna ta shigo gidan, ta wuce mu ba tare da ta ganni ba kuma na lura hankalinta a tashe yake, ta shiga cikin gidan ta sake fitowa sai na tura wanda muke tare nace yaje ya tambaye ta ya mai jiki? Anan naji sunan asibitin da kike, ana bukatar jini kuma ita ta rasa kowa duk gidan suna gurin Alhaji da yake asibiti shima. Sai na fice ba tare data ganni ba, na je asibitin da kike na nemo dakin da kike na shiga har ciki na ganki. You were sleeping, kamar allurar bacci aka yi miki. Kin kumbura sosai kinyi fari tas. I stayed a dakin for a while ina ganin kamar in na fita bazan dawo in tarar dake da rai ba but i knew dole inyi wani abu sai na tafi nace Inna ce ta turo ni in biya kudi kuma a dauki jini na, akwai wadda a gurin ta tambayeni ko nine mijinki and it pained me to say no. Aka gwada jini na and luckily sai yayi matching da naki” Na katse shi “wait, wai kai ka bani jini ranar nan a asibiti?” Yayi murmushi “naki fadar kaina ne saboda nasan yadda Inna bata sona zata iya cewa ba za’a karba ba dan kar in shafa miki maita or something like that” Kullum ina zuwa in duba ki. Na tabbatar kina samun sauki sosai, ranar nan saura kadan Mama ta ganni na buya duk I doubt ko ta ganni ma zata gane ni saboda ni kaina nasan I looked terrible. Ranar nan nazo sai akace min a ranar za’a sallame ki. Sai na tsaya and I saw you sanda kuka fito, ke da Inna da Saghir da wadansu mata. Kuka shiga motar Saghir ke da Inna kuka tafi and I kept following you a kafa sai danja ta tsayar daku har na karaso inda kuke and I did what I shouldn’t have done, nayi miki magana” Da sauri nace “I knew it. Nasan kai na gani amma inna tace wai aljanu ne suka bude min ido”. Yayi murmushi. Ban kyauta ba na sani bai kamata inyi wa matar wani magana ba but I did it. STORY CONTINUES BELOW A ranar na koma Abuja daga nan kuma na koma Canada. A cikin jirgin nayi making decision cewa it is time to move on, tunda ke gashi har kin haihu, seven months after the wedding har kin haihu. Dan haka ina zuwa gida na samu Papa nace “am ready to move on yanzu” yace “good. Sai ka tafi makaranta kayi mechanical engineering dinka” sai nace “ina son karatu amma nafi son business, in yaso sai in hada da karatun da business din duka” yace zai saka ni a harkar Mai, but sai nace masa bana son aiki under him, I want something of my own, yadda zan making name for myself ba wai in jingina dashi ba. Na dauka zaiji babu dadi but sai naga yayi murna, yace wannan ya nuna masa how strong I am. Sai yayi signing check ya bani yace in cike kudin da nake ganin zasu ishe ni in kafa kaina. Na rubuta na mika masa sai ya yaga check din yace “wannan kudin da zan bawa wani ne in tazo neman taimako gurina. Ba kudin da zan bawa tilon dana ya kafa business ba. Sai ya sake signing wani ya miko min yace “multiply that by hundred, ka rubuta kaje ka karba. Allah yasa albarka a ciki”. That was the beginning of Abatcha Motors. I chose Kano saboda in samu damar keeping eyes on you. Cikin few months aka gama komai na fara hiring ma’aikata. A lokacin ne Malam iliyasu yake gaya min cewa kuna cikin matsalar kudi dan yaga aba ta fitar da kayan gidan ana siyarwa. So, I talked to someone who talked to someone har aka gayawa Alhaji Babba cewa ga sabon company nan ana daukan ma’aikata and luckily shi kuma Saghir ya dauko takardunsa ya fito neman aiki a lokacin sai aka turo min shi. A gurin interview din dana yi masa ne na tabbatar cewa bai sanni ba. I gave him a job. Amma ba job bane ba dan baya ma cikin list of staff dina. Salary dinsa daban nake bashi and his salary was just like me giving you money. Ina bashi kudin dana san ya isa ya kula dake. Ina gab da komawa Canada ne sai yazo office dina yana ta complain wai matarsa ce zata haihu kuma doctors sunce ba zata iya haihuwa ba sai dai ayi mata aiki, gashi sunyo masa bill na kudi da yawa. I was scared kar yazo yaki biyan kudin ki zo ki samu matsala so I paid the money. Har na kara masa da kudin ragon suna da sauran hidima, ranar da za’ayi aikin na kwana ina miki addu’ar nasara, I wanted to go and see you but nasan hakan ba dai dai bane ba sai na hakura nace ya kirani in anyi and I asked him ya sakawa yarinyar Subay’a hoping hakan zai faranta miki ranki. Daga nan na koma school. Carleton University of Canada. Anan nayi karatu tsahon shekaru biyar na fita da matsayin mechanical engineer. A wannan shekarun ne muka yi bonding sosai da yan uwana. My four sisters, Sa’adatu, Yani, Fanna da auta Adama, wadanda Papa ya bani task din koya musu hankali dan zaman kasar turawa ya saka duk sun koma suma kamar turawan. Yanayin shigarsu da yanayin mu’amalar su. I treated them with fire, but sometimes kuma sai inyi musu sanyi muyi ta wasa da dariya. Maman su kuma ta bani goyon baya sosai gurin koya musu hankali dan dama yanayin nasu duk yana damunta itama turancin ne yasa bata iya tsawatar musu. All those years, nayi iyakacin kokari na dan ganin na cire ki a zuciya ta amma abin ya faskara. Nayi addu’a, nayi azumi nayi sadaka duk da wannan niyar, daga baya sai na saka a raina cewa wannan shine kaddara ta, zan rayu da sanki a zuciyata amma bazan rayu dake ba. Ban dauka cewa babu abinda ya ragu na sonki a zuciyata ba sai dana dawo, ranar da staff dina sukayi surprising dina da party, I saw you there, I tried pretending but then I saw him holding your hand and I couldn’t take it, nasan in ban bar gurin ba zan iya rufe shi da duka dan haka na gudu” Then one day ina dakina na hotel ana ruwan sama, har na fara shirin bacci sai ga wayar Malam Iliyasu yace min mamanki da kanwarki sunzo gidan Saghir ya kore su, ga dare gashi ana ruwa yana jin tsoron kar wani abu ya faru dasu. I left everything na hau mota na taho unguwar ina tafiya ina dubawa, hankalina a tashe ina tsoron kar in zama too late, sai gasu nan kuwa na gansu already har sun fada hannun mugaye. I couldn’t imagine me zai faru da Asma’u idan da Allah bai sa Malam Iliyasu ya kirawo ni ba. That was when I decided to sue Alhaji Babba for garejin Baffa da filina. Tunda rashin mutumci suke ji I decided to show them rashin mutunci”. “Wannan shi yayi stating chain of events din da har suka kai ga rufe Saghir” “Ina so ki fahimci cewa ban rufe Saghir dan in aure ki ba. Yes, I loved you, I love you and I will take your love with me to my grave but da ace zaman lafiya kuke yi da Saghir da babu abinda bazanyi ba dan ganin cewa zamanku ya dore a tare. I would have given everything in dai zakiyi farin ciki. But after na fahimci irin zaman da kuke yi, after what he said a gaba na ba tare dako digon nadama a muryarsa ba, after ke da kanki kin gaya min cewa ba kya son komawa gidansa then I won’t let you. Yes, na barwa Saghir kudina intentionally saboda ina so ya dauka, saboda ina son in samu hujjar rufe shi yayi paying for abinda ya aikata. But I didn’t force his hands. Shi yayi making decision din dauka da kansa. And that’s what took him to prison bani ba”. “Yanzu na dawo gurinki Diyam. Ina neman aurenki bisa yardarki. Yes, nasan shekaru sunja ba lallai ne kina da feelings for me a yanzu ba. Amma ina so ki fada min abinda yake ranki, in kika karbi offer ta ta aure I will surely be the happiest man on earth, in kuma kika ki karba I will be heart broken maybe fiye ma da wancan karon but I will respect your wish. Bazan matsa miki ba ba kuma zan bari a matsa miki ba”. Ina jiran amsar ki.1 Nayi kokarin dago kaina in kalleshi amma na kasa, tun daya fara magana nake hawayen tausayin rayuwata da tasa, wani gurin kuma inyi murmushi ina jin soyayyar sa tana kara ninkuwa a zuciyata. A karshe sai na samu kaina da tambayar kaina. Shin tsakanin ni da Sadauki waye yafi son dan’uwansa? But can I tell him that? Anya zan iya gaya masa cewa babu abinda ya ragu a zuciyata dangane da soyayyar sa sai ma karuwa da yayi. Sai jin murtarsa nayi a hankali yace “should I start crying? Ko kuma in durkusa a kan guiwa ta?” Na yi murmushi ina karasa goge sauran hawayen ido na, na bude baki sai maganar ta makale, sai kawai nasa hannayena na rufe fuskata. Ya kama dariya yana cewa “you must be kidding me. Yanzu ni in zauna in gama bude miki zuciyata amma ke sai ki rufe fuska? In ba zaki gaya min bama at least let me look at your eyes in karanto amsa ta a can” na girgiza kaina nace “I can’t” yace “wait, wai kunya ta kike ji?” Na bude fuskata nasan “mu fulani kunya ce damu” yayi dariya yace “maybe kin manta, nima bafulatani ne” nace “half ba. Mun bar musu kuma” yace “ni ban yarda ba, ko bani da jinin fulani my heart is fulani. Zuciya kuma itace rayuwa” nayi murmushi ina tuna ranar daya fara fada min nice zuciyarsa a Taura. Yace “I still need to hear it. I need to hear you say you love me. In kika fada then I have tukuici for you. Happiness insha Allah, till eternity. Through thick and thin”.2 Ina sunkuyar da kaina kasa, murmushi a lips dina, ruwan hawaye a idona, nace “kalmar love can’t even begin to describe yadda nake jinka a zuciyata. Sometimes ina jin soyayyar ka kamar tayi waya a kirjina Kamar zuciyata ta cika har tana zuba da sonka. Da sonka aka haife ni Sadauki kuma nasan da shi zan koma fa mahalicci na. Bana jin kalmomi zasu iya bayyana soyayya ta gare ka dan duk abinda na fada ji nake yi kamar yayi kadan” sai yayi sauri yace “okay, will you marry me? Please? Sai a nuna min soyayyar a aikace ko zan fi fahimta sosai” sai nayi saurin jan hijab dina na rufe fuskata saboda nauyin maganar sa da naji. Ban san me yasa yanzu nake jin tsananin kunyar Sadauki ba bayan kuma sanda nake karama bana ji kamar haka. Ina jinsa ya sake jawo kujerar sa kusa dani yace “Please say something Diyam. Am dying here”.2 Hayaniyar su Asma’u ce tasa na bude fuskata amma ban kalli inda yake ba sai na juya inda na jiyo muryoyinsu. Murjanatu tazo da sauri tana cewa “yaya, wallahi naga irin motar da kayi min alkawari as my birthday gift. Please, please yaya ka bar min ita” sai ya dafe kansa da hannu daya yace “zaki saka min ciwon kai Fanna. Please go and make the noice somewhere else” sai na mike tsaye nace “yauwa an kawo abinci, dama yunwa nake ji”. An jera mana abinci iri iri akan shimfidar da akayi mana akan grass carpet din gurin. Muka tafi mu uku muka fara saving kan mu muna ci muna hirarrakin mu amma hankali na tana kansa yana zaune har yanzu a inda muka zauna da waya a hannunsa. Naji shigowar text cikin waya ta sai na duba naga “Please ki ajiye abincin nan kizo mu karasa maganar mu” sai na juya na kalle shi nace “me za’a zubo maka?” Ya bata rai yace “am not hungry”. Anan mukayi sallolin mu, Murjanatu tana ta yi masa nacin mota sai yace ta bari sai birthday din nata. “Ke ba iya motar ma kika yi ba. In na baki me zaki yi da ita?” Tace “koya min zakayi ai” yace “ni bani da lokacin koya miki mota akwai driving schools ki shiga ki koya a can”. Sai da magrib ta gabato sannan muka tafi gida. A hanya Asma’u da Murjanatu ne kawai suke ta hirarrakin su amma ni da Sadauki kowa yana hira ne da zuciyarsa. Ni ina rarrashin tawa ne akan ta yarda da hukuncina a kan Sadauki, ina gaya mata cewa hakan shine abinda ya kamata gare ni, gare shi ga Subay’a, ga kuma zuriar dazamu haifa in muna da rabo. But my heart was weeping tana ganin banyi mata adalci ba. Tana gaya min hukuncina ni zaifi affecting ba wai shi wanda nayi wa ba. Muna zuwa gida yayi packing a kofar gida su Asma’u sukayi masa sallama suka fita, ina hango Subay’a ta fito da gudu sai kuma ta tsaya tana kallonsa sai ta juya ta koma gida. Ya juyo yana kallona, nasan maganar da zaiyi min kuma kirjina bugawa yake da karfi ina tattaro courage din amsa masa, yace “baki bani amsa ta ba Diyam. In kin amince min ina son zanje gurin Kawu Isa” na juyo ina kallonsa, ina tunanin irin smartness ne Sadauki. Gurin Kawu Isa. Yasan a yanzu in ya nemi aurena a gurin Kawu Isa da gudu zai bashi ko dan ya kara bakantawa Alhaji Babba rai tunda har yanzu basu shirya ba. Sai kuma nayi tunanin hakan da Kawu Isa zaiyi shi zai kara rusa yar guntuwar zumuntar da take tsakanin uncles dina guda biyu. Sai nace “ina son aurenka Sadauki. Zan iya cewa shine greatest burina a yanzu. But, ina son muyi shi akan dai dai. Ina son muyi shi ta yadda nan gaba ba zamu zo muna nadama ba” yace “nadama kuma? Akan me zamuyi nadama?” Nace “have you thought about maganar da mukayi ranar nan? Akan forgiveness?” Sai ya dauke kansa gefe yana kallon waje nace “nima da akayi wa laifin nan na yafe musu. And I felt good lokacin da na yafe din ji nayi tamkar na dauke wani abu ne mai nauyi daga zuciyata. Wannan feeling din shi nake yi maka kwadayi. And Subay’a, ƴata ce at the same time ƴar Saghir ce duk yadda bana son Saghir bazan taba cewa ba shine ya haife ta ba. She will come in between us ko da munyi auren ma she will never forget cewa kai ka rufe mata mahaifinta and that may affect me nima a gurinta zata iya tunanin da sani na akayi komai” yace cikin dacin murya “I didn’t lock up her father. Shi yayi signing takarda da hannunsa babu wanda ya tilasta masa” nace “but intentionally ka bar masa ai. Kuma kudin ka ne. You can just walk to the court a yanzu kace ka yafe masa a d that will be all” ya girgiza kansa yace “you seem to be forgetting something. Ba kudina ne kadai yake rike da your precious Saghir a prison ba. Ko drygs din ma ni na daka masa a dakin sa?” Naji zafin kalmar ‘precious Saghir’ din daya fada amma nasan kishi ne yake yi, sai nace “ba kai ka saka masa ba. Abokinsa ne yayi framing dinsa amma yayi framing dinsa ne saboda ya samu damar guduwa da kudinka da Saghir ya dauka, so it circles back to you. Please Sadauki, you have the power, you can set him free. Saghir yayi nadama. I saw it in his eyes sanda naje gurinsa a prison” yace “nadama? Baki san hausawa sunce kowa ya tuba dan yuwa babu lada ba? Ko zaiyi nadama Saghir ba yanzu ba” nace “Sadauki, Saghir fa…..” Sai ya daga min hannu yace “stop, Please stop mentioning his name” sai na fahimci wani abu. Duk maganar da nake Sadauki ba jina yake yi ba, kishi ya rufe masa ido gani yake yi kamar saboda ina son Saghir ne nake so ya fito da shi. Ban kuma cewa komai ba sai na dauki purse dina na bude kofa na fita. Ina jin yana kirana amma ban juyo ba duk kuwa da cewa ji nake tamkar tawa zuciyar tafi tashi jin zafin hakan.1 Ina shiga na tarar Asma’u da Murjanatu sun saka Inna a gaba suna ta bata labarin guraren da muka je. Sai na wuce su na shiga daki da niyyar rage marata a toilet sai kawai naga Subay’a a kwance a kan gado, na karasa kisa da ita sai naga kuka take yi a hankali hawayenta yana zuba kan katifa. Naji hankalina ya tashi sai na durkusa na jawo ta jikina nace “Subay’a? Kuka? Me ya faru?” Sai taki magana ta cigaba da kukanta ni kuma nayi ta rarrashinta har tayi shiru Sannan na sake tambayar ta sai tace “Daddy na nake son gani” sai nayi murmushi nace “dan kina son ganin Daddy sai kiyi kuka? Kiyi hakuri kinji? Da weekend zan kaiki ki ganshi” ta gyada kai kawai. Har zan tashi sai kuma na dawo na zauna nace “Subay’a, ranar nan da kika ce min kinji su Inna suna magana akan uncle Sadauki shi ya rufe Daddy ba haka bane ba, bakiji dai dai ba, uncle Sadauki shi yake kokarin fito da Daddy daga prison. Dazu ma maganar da muke yi dashi kenan” sai ta sake gyada kai kawai but she didn’t looked convinced. Sai naji babu dadi saboda nayi mata karya amma kuma hakan ina ganin shine zai rage kiyayyar ta ga Sadauki. Ina kuma fatan komai ya dai-dai ta kafin tayi girman da zata gane komai. Sai da nazo kwanciya naga text din Sadauki “am sorry Diyam, but I can’t”. Sai nayi ta juya wayar a hannuna na rasa amsar da zan bashi. A karshe kawai na kasheta na ajiye. Cikin dare na tashi na gayawa Allah bukatu na. I want everything to turn out alright a gurin kowa da kowa. Ina kuma son zumuncin mu da yanuwan mu ya koma kamar yadda yake kafin a hada auren karfafa zumunci tsakani na da Saghir (ko auren bata zumunci ba), sai na roki Allah ya duba zuciyata yayi min zabi mafi alkhairi. Kafin safiya nayi making decision. Makaranta zan koma in cigaba da karatu. Da safe na samu inna da bukata ta. “Inna maganar makarantar da nayi miki ranar nan. In kin amince ina so in nemi makarantar in sayi form in fara kafin shekara ta zagayo in tafi jami’a” ta tsaya rana kallona, daga dukkan alama maganata bata yi mata dadi ba amma sai tace “Allah yasa hakan shi yafi alkhairi” nace “ameen”. Da yamma sai ga Sadauki yazo gidan. Ya zauna kowa ya gaishe shi sai yake yiwa Murjanatu magana “Papa ya kira. Yace ki shirya ki koma saboda shirin tafiyarki school” ta bata rai, ya daga hannu yace “babu ruwana. Kinsan in baki tafi makaranta ba this year ba aure za’ayi miki” ta turo baki “Sa’adatu ma ba’ayi mata aure ba sai ni?” Yace “okay try me ki gani. Kin dauka wasa nake ko. Su Sa’adatu ai duk karatu suke yi ke kuma zaman banza kike yi zaman kula samari” sai tayi shiru fuskarta kamar an aiko mata mutuwa. Inna tana jin su tace “gwara kije karatun ki. Diyam ma tace makaranta zata koma” ya juyo yana kallona naki yarda mu hada ido sai yace “school? Very good. Ina zaki je?” Nace “computer school zan yi, kafin in samu admission. Tunda kaga yanzu an gama registration har an fara karatu sai next year kuma” ya daga kafada yace “ba duk universities bane suka rufe admission” nace “wacce ce ba’a rufe ba? Kasan kuma banyi jamb ba, so ko ba’a rufe ba bani da hope” yace a hankali “you can go to Oxford. Can nake nemawa Murjanatu, zaku iya tafiya tare” sai Murjanatu ta mike da sauri ta fara tsallen murna. “Haa, har naji dadi wallahi. Please Diyam say yes kinji? Please, please, please”.3 Sai nayi shiru ina kallon Sadauki wanda shima ni yake kallo, with so many unspoken words a cikin kallon namu ni ina jin haushin wato akan ya yafe wa Saghir ya gwammace ya tura ni wata uwa duniya karatu shi kuma yana jin haushin dan yaki yafewa Saghir na yi choosing in koma makaranta akan in aure shi.